Pancakes and Pajamas, typical homeschoolers

One of the great advantages of homeschooling is the freedom!

Freedom to still be wearing Minecraft pajamas in the middle of the day and have no one teasing you about it.

Freedom to make pancakes for lunch, because you have as much time as you need and no one ringing a bell to alert you that your lunch is over.

Sports Night Crock Pot Lasagna

Cheap and Easy - that's not an ad, that's what I want my meals to be... well, let's be honest, I would like lots of things to be cheap and easy, but this recipe actually is.

I call it a Sports Night recipe because that is usually when we usually need a convenient meal. It has to be yummy and filling enough to stop me from running through the drive thru after practice.

This lasagna needs the following ingredients (this feeds 2 adults, 3 teens, and 4 kids):
2 lbs cooked ground beef
2 lbs lasagna noodles
3 cans/jars of pasta sauce (2 quarts will work if you can your own)
1 can diced tomatoes
2 lbs cheese (mozzarella is the staple, but whatever you like will work)
some spices to your preference (I use oregano and basil)

I prep this about 11am while making lunch. Layer in crock the following:
Sauce, meat, noodles, cheese, noodles, sauce, tomatoes, meat, cheese, noodles, sauce, meat, cheese. Add spices to layers of sauce as you go.

I leave on high from lunchtime until about 2:30, then turn to keep warm. Kids can meander in from school and eat right away, athletes can get a hardy carb and protein meal before practice or the night before a big game, Dad can eat when he comes in from work, and Mom will, of course, taste test throughout the day to make sure it is just right.

Tip: make sure all noodles are covered with sauce, exposed noodles will not soften

If you have time and inclination, a simple garlic loaf goes well with this dish.

Genghis Khan story review

This is a story review by Tyler Johnson (age 15) on the story of Genghis Khan and his Hawk.

He writes:

A very good story with a good moral. Genghis Kahn was a fierce general who ran his army. He went hunting with his hawk. I believe this is a very happy and sad but fun story.

The main characters are Kahn and his Hawk. Kahn is a large, fierce man. His Hawk is an agile bird with long wings. They are motivated by their love to hunt. Khan is very rash. The hawk is a little too prideful.

Kahn needs water. He was chasing a deer and got lost. He then thirst. He found a stream. But, the hawk wouldn't let him drink. He moves toward the source of the stream, but the hawk still won't let him drink. Kahn is angered.

In the end, Kahn kills his friend, and throws his cup only to find the water was poisoned. He grieves over his friend. He learns that it's not always for pleasure or gain someone does something. It has an overall theme of friendship and loss.

Khan is very relatable. We all have been too harsh at times. We all have been like the hawk, trying to help and only being punished. It's kind of ironic. Kahn was super smart and strong yet wouldn't listen to his best friend. I think that Kahn killing the bird makes the story so much more powerful. I was very intrigued by what would happen. It added to the story to keep the venom hidden because then when he found it the poison was all the more surprising.

I was quite surprised by the snake. I had no idea the snake would be there. I felt very sad about the bird dying to save one. It is obvious the author is trying to tell us sometimes we should just listen. It teaches us that standing up for another is never wrong. It is motives that can go astray. I found it a fun, sad and interesting read.

Tyler read the version of this story by Lori Verstegen, through the Institute for Excellence in Writing curriculum.

Homeshooling How We Do It

Welcome to homeschooling, year 14. As this year comes to a close and I start to face year 15, I noticed a theme that seems to keep repeating year after year. Perhaps you've noticed it in your house too.

We are ready to be done, physically and mentally, but not academically.

So, about this time of year, I start thinking about how to make next year better.

7 of the 8 children are still here in the house, and still need my time and attention daily. This year I taught 11th grade, 9th, 7th, 3rd and 1st grade all at once, with a three year old who likes to yell at me

"MOM, WHERE'S MY SCHOOLWORK!"

and a one year old who until recently was still nursing.

I often hear this question: "HOW DO YOU DO IT?" and almost always, the person asking is either not a homeschooler and completely clueless, and there is no answer that I can give them, OR the person is a homeschooling mom who is really asking, "HOW CAN I DO IT?"

So, I'm going to try to help answer both of those questions, without too much snark, and try to keep it real.

TIP #1 MAKE LESSON PLANS AND LISTS
REALITY #1 YOU WILL PROBABLY ALWAYS BE BEHIND SCHEDULE

After trying all sorts of things, I've learned that for my personality, I need to spend the summer researching curriculum and developing lesson plans. I have publishers I like Veritas Press and I usually start with their recommendations and tailor it to each child (I'll talk about that next). I use a grid from Sonlight to plan out our daily lessons or goals.

The first page always looks something like this ALL IN PENCIL with subjects along the side column and children's names at the top. It's a worksheet, a place for me to plan out what I hope to accomplish over the course of the year.

Then, I create a page for each day (Monday - Friday for 36 weeks) - this is important for those of you who have to report attendance or record a certain number of school days per year - at the end of the year, this can serve as your record book as well as a help for planning out the next year.

An individual day plan looks more like this.
TIP #2 MAKE ALL YOUR PLANS IN PENCIL
REALITY #2 PLANS CHANGE

I use a yellow highlighter to put a line through each item as we complete it. Notice not box is full. You do not have to do every subject every day. Also, we don't finish all the planned items on the day I plan them, so if we finish something the next day, I don't move it in the planner, I just highlight it whenever we finish it.

So, what to put on the plan?

I spend a lot of time really thinking about who each child is, what matters to them, what motivates them, what they want to learn about and how I can teach it to them while still having them learn the things I want them to learn.
For my high schoolers, I asked them this year to make a list of the classes they wish were offered at their school, classes they would take if they could. I'm using that list to direct my curriculum choices.

Some packaged curriculum come with an already laid out lesson plan, so I just transfer that to our daily chart. Most of them are at the very least designed to fit into an 18 week or 36 week plan, so it's just a matter of sitting down with the curriculum and sorting out what makes sense to do each day.

If you are creating your own curriculum then you will have to decide how to break down the work into daily bites. This is not difficult, but it does take more time. But, if you are developing your own curriculum, then you are already investing a big chunk of time. I've done both over the years, and I prefer to write my own for some subjects, and prefer a canned curriculum for others - it depends on you and your child.


TIP #3 RELY ON YOUR OLDER CHILDREN TO BE INDEPENDENT AND HELPFUL
REALITY #3 SOMETIMES THEY ARE SICK AND/OR GRUMPY TOO OR PROCRASTINATORS OR WELL, JUST HUMAN...

In real use, I pull out this binder every day and it helps keep us focused.
If I'm sick, or away from home, or taking a child to the doctor or nursing the baby, an older child can open the binder and know what to do and can help younger children to know what to do.

As the year progresses, we tend to get ahead in some subjects (you don't have to stop reading just because your lesson plan says that you've done one day of work - you just mark off what you accomplish), and you'll fall behind in others. That makes using the binder a little more challenging for a child.

I keep bookmarks at the spots where we are in each subject and move the bookmarks as we go along. I use sticky notes so they don't get accidentally moved.

TIP #4 MAKE LISTS
REALITY #4 SOME CHILDREN WILL IGNORE THEIR LIST IF YOU DON'T HOUND THEM

To keep the day running smoothly, it usually helps to start with everyone at the dining room table. I begin with math, since most of them can work on practice problems or reading their next lesson in their books on their own while I work with them one at a time. I check their previous work, and write down their next assignment.
Then, we do Grammar. As I work with each individual child, the others start on their math assignments.

I work through each subject this way, reviewing material, answering questions and writing down the next assignment. 

When all goes well, each child has an assignment sheet to work through in just a couple of hours, allowing me to help children who need extra explanation, prepare "schoolwork" for the three year old, plan meals and it allows older, independent children to leave the table and go find quiet spaces to work.

When all goes sour, well then we sit at the table for awhile and still get some things done, but I don't have to try and make a judgement about how "good" of a day we had. This gives me an objective perspective on our year as a whole. I can look back over weeks and months, not just one bad day, and I can see what we've accomplished.

TIP #5 GIVE OLDER CHILDREN QUIET SPACES TO WORK
REALITY #5 SOME CHILDREN WILL STILL TRY TO WORK ON THE COUCH IN FRONT OF THE TV.

Our older children have tables in their room that they can use for studying. We also have a couple of small tables in our basement that can be used for younger children to do art projects and Playdoh or for older children to study at if necessary.

If they show that they are having trouble doing their work with the freedom to get their work done at their own pace, then I make them stay at the dining room table and work there. When they show a more diligent work ethic, they get their freedom back.

For especially difficult lessons, I will also ask older children to take the Littles to play with their toys so that I can work with one child alone who needs extra help.

TIP #6 DON'T LET THE LIST LIMIT YOU
REALITY #6 THERE ARE MANY THINGS THAT ARE EDUCATIONAL THAT YOU WON'T THINK TO INCLUDE IN YOUR LESSON PLANS

As fun and interesting things present themselves, go do them. Take time off of your schedule for swimming lessons, theater productions, hikes in the woods and whatever other things your family likes to do.

This year we discovered the Performing Arts Center in our area and their educational series. So, when we do those things, I pencil them into the lesson plans, or in the side margins if necessary. This year, we've added speech and essay contests, 4H projects, theater productions, drama club, youth group, swimming lessons and more to our original lesson plans.

How do I do it all? Here are some tips, but my answer is really by the grace of God go we.
So, don't forget to pray.

Five Steps to a Clean Bedroom

I found a short list for cleaning kids rooms that I thought was great. I tweaked it to fit our family needs and have the following 5 STEPS to a clean room posted on my daughter's bedroom wall. She uses it nearly every day to help her keep her room tidy.

It's simple, fast and even little kids can do it.

So, here it is:


Step 1. Push everything off the bed onto the floor and make the bed. 

Making the bed can be as simple as laying a blanket over the top of it and calling it good. Military corners on sheets and all that is not what we're going for here. Just presentable.

Step 2. Put laundry on bed.

This might seem counter-intuitive since you just made the bed, but it might be the only clean spot in the room and this is about sorting the clothing, towels and such from the rest of the stuff on the floor. So, just make a big pile of everything that would be considered laundry on top of the bed.

Step 3. Put toys in bins/on shelves.

If your kids don't have this, get it. Bins don't have to be fancy or labeled, just bins. We do bins on book shelves or dresser drawers for special items. Again, this isn't an organizing adventure, so put away the label maker. This is simply getting everything they care about up and off the floor and into some kind of container for storage.

Step 4. Throw away trash/Vacuum floor.

There always seems to be garbage on the floor, even if we just vacuumed yesterday. But, if you don't have that issue, then you can just throw out any trash that might have found its way into the room, and call it good. I think running the vacuum over the center gives it a more finished look.

Step 5. Sort laundry.

Remember that pile of laundry on the bed? Now is the time to tackle that. Clean stuff gets put away, dirty stuff goes in the hamper. You, parent, can decide what 'put away' means. For some, it might just be throwing it all in a laundry basket, or shoving it in a drawer - we have labeled bins on shelves for this too, so all the shirts go in one, pants in another and so on. Dirty clothes go in a hamper, and older kids can take that hamper all the way to the laundry room if you want them too.


That's it. Done. Not perfect, but tidy and presentable.

Good enough.

Following Your Kid's Lead

I'm learning to follow my kids lead. They are creative and fun and smart and they have great ideas.

The 17 year old wants to be a Broadway star! Here's her Facebook page.
As her mom, and her guidance counselor it's my job over this next year to make sure that she builds a resume that will boost her chances of getting into the college of her choice and accepted into their musical theater program.

As a small private school, it is difficult to offer some of the things that might look good on that application. Things like drama club, band & orchestra, dance, choir, etc.
So, we are trying to be creative.

The 15 year old wants to work in computers. He's not sure what, but maybe building them, repairing them, etc. Also, hard to create a technical lab on our school's itty bitty budget.

The 9 year old wants to be famous on YouTube. He's convinced he can sit around playing Minecraft, recording himself talking about it and get paid for it. I would laugh, but there are people actually doing it, so who am I to tell him he can't?
But, neither of us has any idea how to begin.

So, as the first semester of our homeschool year is nearing it's close, I'm pondering the curriculum and lesson plans for semester #2. What can we do differently to help these children work toward their goals while still meeting my idea of "schoolwork"?

I'm following their lead.

We now have a family YouTube page.
It's called 8 Kids Playing, a perfect name for our little actors and actresses, musicians and gamers.

AND, the kids are working on starting a newsletter. THE JOHNSON JOURNAL!

They are learning writing, business planning, and computer skills all at the same time. But, the part I like the best is the TEAMWORK because it was all their idea.

Pithy Signs Don't Make You Cool

It seems like everywhere I go lately, every store, every home, everywhere there are these wall hangings with clever, sweet and pithy little sayings like,

Last night, my husband and I were out and we saw one that said this:

In our home, we

Live Joyfully... Sometimes, but not always. Read this, and you'll know sometimes I'm really sad.

Laugh Abundantly... Sometimes we do laugh so hard it hurts. But, what does abundantly mean? 

Sometimes, we don't laugh at all. Sometimes, we yell and call names. Sometimes, we are mean.

Give Generously... That sounds nice. Wouldn't it be nice if we did that?

Love Affectionately...

Care Deeply...

Listen Carefully...

Smile Spontaneously...

Yes, let's do those things. 

Pray faithfully...

Forgive Freely... Yes, let's do these things too. I want us to do these things.

Play Adventurously... This one. This one, my boys have it down. They know how to play adventurously. But, it's okay. I'm not afraid of the E.R. Been there. Done that.

Hug Tightly... This one. I'm really good at this one. I can give Squishes ALL DAY.

But, I look at this list. This wall hanging that I keep seeing everywhere I go, and I wonder.

If I buy it and hang it on the wall, will that make it true?

No. It won't.

I didn't buy it. I'll probably never buy it. 

But, then I saw another sign and it gave me an idea. We don't have an Elf on the Shelf to do silly things or give our kids little gifts, and we don't pretend that a fat man in a red suit is bringing them stuff either. 

But, they do have a generous Dad and a silly mama. So, this morning, while they were all sleeping, I made them a sign. One we can all do. It's on the wall in my kitchen. 

It looks like this:

This.

I'm pretty sure we can accomplish this.

We are going to be amazing today.

And, maybe we'll even be amazing every day.

Homeschooling with a Meek and Quiet Spirit by Teri Maxwell book review

I thought this was a really good read. 

First, It’s short; you could probably finish it in the doctor’s waiting room. This is great for the busy mom.

She does speak to the important job of the homeschooling mom in her preface, “There isn’t a more determined, dedicated set of women in the entire world! You have chosen an unpopular, difficult path that comes with little outside encouragement. Yet, you have set your face on obedience to the Lord and what you know is best for your children no matter what it costs your personally!”(9)

But, she has some good, honest insight into the heart and mind of a mom, not just those that homeschool. She speaks to our inclination to dwell in states of worry, anger, fear, anxiety and frustration. I think many moms would appreciate this text.

She encourages all those who are seeking Christ in their vocation, when she writes “…when Jesus Christ calls one to a task, He can also give the enthusiasm to go with it.” (13)

She encourages moms to recognize sin and call it what it is, confess and receive absolution. Perhaps my favorite quote from this book is  “Godly sorrow truly grieves over sin, confesses and repents of it. Then godly sorrow puts a smile on its face and walks in the joy of ‘no condemnation’!” (52)

What a beautiful thing forgiveness is.

Maxwell puts this in opposition to the idea of worldly sorrow, such as “…disappointment in your spirit that the reality of homeschooling didn’t match the ideal.” (16) 

These words spoke to me as I considered my moments of despair most often come from a feeling of failure that is directly related to my own high expectations not being met, which then leads me to feel that I have failed in some way to achieve the perfection that I had perceived possible. The root of this is my own PRIDE.

She says this well, “When negative emotions come over me, it is usually because I am thinking about myself.” (109)

This is not an advice book, or homeschooling book with curriculum suggestions, but simply a book that shares her personal journey in the search of contentment. It is hard work that we do as moms, and homeschooling adds to that work load, but we can, with the help of God, be content in the work that we do.

You can get a copy of Homeschooling With a Meek and Mild Spirit here.

Why Marriage Matters For Girls

The wealth of a classical education is that we can learn from the foolishness of those who came before us by reading about them. In my quest to improve my own education, I've been working my way through The Well-Educated Mind.

Well, okay, that's a flat out lie.

The truth is I've been working my way through the first novel in the reading list, Don Quixote, and slowly at that.

But, I stopped reading this morning as I came across a quote that struck me. Quixote, in his adventures, comes across a man who tells him a story. In this story, the man tells of his friend.

"He loved a wealthy farmer's daughter, one of his father's tenants, and she was so beautiful, modest, intelligent and virtuous that nobody who knew her could decide which of these excellent qualities was most outstanding in her. And they raised Don Fernando's desires to such a pitch that he decided that to have his way with her and conquer her virginity he'd give her his word of marriage..."

The story teller goes on to explain that his friend suggests that going away for a time would be the solution to his problem. The young man agrees and encourages him to do so.

"By the time he told me all this he had already , as later became apparent, enjoyed the girl's favours as her husband, and was looking for an opportunity to reveal all without having to pay the consequences, fearful as he was of what the Duke his father would do when he found out about his folly."

So, the story teller encourages his friend to go back home with him to get away from the temptations of this girl who so drove his desires that he was willing to marry her to quench the fire. But, then, when they had arrived at his home, he discovered that his friend had already taken the girl as a wife (without putting forth the necessary price of marriage).

This next quote in the story is pivotal to the point here:

"It happened, then, that since love in young men is usually not love at all, but lust, which, since gratification is its sole aim, ceases to exist as soon as it is satisfied, and what had looked like love turns back because it cannot go any further than the limits fixed for it by nature, which does not establish any limits for true love... what I'm trying to say is that as soon as Son Fernando had his way with the farmer's daughter his desires abated and his ardour cooled, and, if at first he'd pretended to want to leave so as to cure his desires, now he really did want to leave so as not to put them into effect."

Did you get all that?

The lust of men "gratification is its sole aim"
The lust of men drives them to "give her his word of marriage"
The lust of men "ceases to exist as soon as it is satisfied"
The lust of men looks like love, but "what had looked like love turns back" as soon as it is satisfied.
The lust of men is "abated" and "cooled" as soon as it is satisfied.

Men are naturally inclined to burn for women, so much so that he would sacrifice anything to have her, even marry her. Marriage during the writing of Don Quixote and throughout most of history meant for a man that he was bound to provide for her and her children for the rest of his life.

But, once he has had her... the desire that drives him to make that sacrifice is "abated" and "cooled" and "what had looked like love turns back".

Once a man has had a woman, she is left with nothing to offer him that would secure her protection and provision, and he is left with a desire that is not for her, but instead a desire to avoid her.

Please Don't Take My Kids Away

I'm afraid of the CPS worker... afraid they'll show up at my door and take my kids away. You could tell me that I'm crazy, but I already know.
I keep seeing articles about families being investigated for education neglect just because they homeschool, or for letting their children play at the park. I wonder some times what my mom was thinking because when I remember walking alone to the beach.

Yes.

The beach.

Three blocks from my house.

The beach; with all of Lake Michigan just sitting there waiting for me to drown in it, a no barriers or hand rails break wall to run on and fall off of into the rocks and drown, AND a gigantic slide with no side rails that I could  (and actually did once) fall from the top of.

I walked there, crossing streets, all three blocks.

I was five.

FIVE YEARS OLD!

But, I digress, because honestly I'm way more paranoid than that and I would never let my five year go the beach alone, even though I did. Isn't that weird? What is so different now?

It's fear.

I'm afraid of what might happen to him and I'm afraid that someone would call the police and I would be dealing with over zealous social workers for THE. REST. OF. MY. LIFE.

Or worse.

My children would just be gone. Forever.

But, like I said, I'm not sending my five year old alone to the beach, so what am I afraid of?

Well, first, they might see my eight year old riding a Go-Cart 40mph down the middle of the road on the steep hill by our house,

or they might see that same kid jumping from the top of a tree or trying to climb freestyle up the rocky side of the church next door,

or they might see my two year old sitting under the dining room table with a blanket and a box of cereal, eating out of the box and not having even one single bite of dinner.

Or they might have seen what my laundry room looked like before I cleaned it out and took two full trash bags out of that mess.

Or they might see my twelve year old falling all over the pavement trying to do tricks on his new skateboard without a helmet.

Or they might just say, 8 KIDS!? That's too many.

Or maybe one day they'll be walking down the sidewalk in front of our house and they'll hear what I hear when I stand outside hanging towels on the line.

SCREAMING!

Even when they are having fun and playing happily, they are LOUD. Loud enough that I can hear them through the walls with the windows closed. It's even worse when the windows are open.

Then, I realize that if you add in my voice and my husband's voice, it's probably doubly loud. And, that's when I start thinking... someone is going to walk by this house and they are going to call someone and say something is going on in that house. And then I start to wonder where I can hide my kids, but there's no where to hide because we are so stinkin' loud that people can hear us through the walls.

Hard Core Poor, a book review

I just finished reading Hard Core Poor by Kelly Sangree. I read a lot of books on this topic. I find an enjoyable challenge is seeing how little I can spend and still have everything we need, so new books on this topic intrigue me.

This one isn't bad, but I still haven't found any that can compete with The Complete Tightwad Gazette.

I commend Sangree for taking the time to write it.  I've often thought of compiling my years of notes and personal experience into a book on the subject, but always feel like the topic is endless.

Hard Core Poor is a short read.

Her conversational tone allows anyone to glean from her ideas. She covers most of the basic essentials of life and offers a broad range of options in each category from the free method to some of the most expensive. And, if you are new to the idea of being frugal, this could be the book that gets your brain thinking in that vein.

Her ideas aren't bad, but most of them are little more than surface discussion, and don't really get into the nitty gritty of living a frugal life. I think what I love about the Tightwad Gazette is the mass number of specific tricks to try, from washing and reusing plastic storage bags to creative crafts made out of old milk jugs. To see some of my ideas worth sharing, check out my blog posts on the topic of Frugal Living.

Some of my favorites are making your own dishwasher detergent, variations of a pot pie, and the $400 grocery challenge.

Normally, I don't buy these books, but borrow them from the library instead, because they so often contain the same or similar material as books that came before them.

Sangree admits that experienced frugal mommas will find most of her book covers material we already know, but she does discuss a few novel things like where to cash a paycheck when the bank won't let you, and housing options when you can't afford rent. Hard Core Poor also has several website and blog references, making it simple to springboard into other resources fairly quickly.

I picked it up free on Kindle during a promotion, and offering her book free really speaks to her heart for those who are really "hard core poor", so for that reason, I don't mind recommending it.

The Well-Educated Mind Reads...A LOT

I've been reading a lot lately, which is normal for me, but it also means less writing as my limited free time has to be divided between the two in some manner. Currently, reading has been overwhelming the writing.

I started in January with The Well-Educated Mind a follow-up to the popular book on classical education titled The Well Trained Mind. The Well Trained Mind is considered the primary source on classically educating your children at home. Susan Wise Bauer offers parents and adults "...the classical education [they] never had" in the Well-Educated Mind.

The first 80 pages or so offer her arguments on why you need to be classically educated. One of my favorites concerns the way we discuss things as adults. First off, Logic tells us that an argument is an offering of ones reasoning on an issue based on reasonable conclusions that follow agreed upon facts. But, one look at a series of comments following most blogs or articles on the internet will tell you that we don't argue well. We fight; we name-call, we spout fallacies of all sorts, we insult people we don't even know and we write things we would rarely say to someone's face. Bauer argues that we behave this way as adults because of the way we were educated as children.

Essentially, her argument is this: Children who are expected at early ages to read (or listen to) material and immediately spout opinions without any foreknowledge or facts to base those opinions on are taught that their opinion matters more than facts and historical knowledge and so become adults who spout opinions without much foreknowledge or facts on which to base those opinions.

Instead, she argues, we should be teaching ourselves and the next generation to first memorize basic facts and gain a foundation in historical knowledge (perhaps we'll be less likely to repeat the mistakes of those who came before us if we take the time to learn the results of our forerunners actions).

Secondly, we should analyze the data presented to us in the context of what we already know. Does the history make sense, are the scientific claims well founded, The idea is to connect these pegs of knowledge that have been memorized to the current information being received and make determinations about its accuracy and validity.

Only when we have done all this can we begin to share our own opinions.

Of course, here I am telling you what I think... laughing in the face of my poorly educated state of mind. Ha!

The next 300 or so pages of Bauer's book is essentially filled with a reading list and summaries of each suggested book. The readings are even listed in the order she recommends you read them and include explanations of why each one is on the list and the basis for its spot in the line up.

In the fiction line up, first is Don Quixote. I bought it. I'm reading it. It's slow - the book is looooooong and it's just plain silly.

But, I'm determined to finish it. So, back to reading for me.

Homeschooling the child with Asperger Syndrome, a book review

Homeschooling the Child with Asperger Syndrome by Lisa Pyles is one of the best introductory books on homeschooling I’ve found. Her approach is unique in that she discusses the broad topic of homeschooling with specific suggestions for overcoming the learning challenges that a child with Asperger’s might face.

As an experienced homeschooling parent, I can attest that most of her advice is relevant to all homeschooling families. For example, after a brief discussion of Asperger’s, she challenges the obstacles that many parents voice as reasons not to homeschool in the first place. These perceived obstacles seem to be common among many families who are pondering this decision.

First is the issue of time. She says one mom followed “…her two (non-AS affected) middle school aged children around their classes.” This mom reported that each child received less than two hours of actual instruction time.

“The rest of the day was eaten up by passing between classes, getting settled, collecting homework or lunch orders, handing out papers, taking attendance, making announcements, waiting for quiet, dealing with rowdy kids, and getting ready to go to the next class.” (p23)

Pyles also challenges myths such as

*It’s too expensive,

*I’m not a teacher,

*I don’t know what to teach,

*I can’t handle him, he won’t learn from me,

*my child doesn’t want to, and

*my family won’t support me.

Behavioral issues in and out of the classroom are not unique to children with Asperger Syndrome, children who are naturally introverted often have meltdowns when they arrive home after spending hours interacting with others, energetic boys often have trouble sitting still for long periods of time, immature children have short attention spans, and some kids just struggle to control their emotions when bombarded with stimulation and demands all day long. 

You may not have the skills to teach a group of 25 kids you’ve just met, but God has given you the skills to teach the one child whose gifts, skills and learning style you’ve been studying since the day he was born. Parents are always teaching, from walking and talking to eating independently, personal hygiene, cooking meals, mowing the lawn, following directions and more – and we rarely stop to consider whether or not we are qualified to teach these things.

“Our job as teacher is to teach academic subjects. The other job, as a parent, is to help our children cope in the world.” (p38)

“What if we change things so that… [the child] is allowed to feel safe and comfortable and calm, and is allowed to learn at his own rate and in a way that suits him?” Might this change in his environment also change the way he responds to it? Perhaps for the better? (p29)

Throughout the text, Lisa Pyles breaks down topics by academic subject and age range, offering websites, book lists and tips from experienced parents.

The author of Homeschooling the child with Asperger’s Syndrome is not a lifelong homeschooler. She pulled her child so that she could meet his needs. This gives her the perspective of having tried the public school system, taken an adventure in homeschooling and later re-enrolling him into a private school.

I often meet young moms who say, “Oh, I’ve been thinking about homeschooling, but how do I get started?” and it’s been so long since we started that I have a hard time remembering what it was like. I would recommend Pyles book to those moms.

At first, I was curious about the topic, but convinced she would have little to offer me… I mean, I’ve been doing this a long time, and I don't have a child with Asperger Syndrome. But, even I found some good tips. My favorite is the Learning Jar – this is a jar filled with educational activities for children to do when they need a break, or when you need to help another child. The child can pull a slip of paper from the jar and find a special task to do, such as counting the stairs for little ones, measuring the area of a room or alphabetizing the books on a shelf. The tasks can be specific to the child, such as march the stairs for gross motor skills, count the paper clips in this cup for fine motor skills, stand on one foot for fifteen seconds for children who need help with balance, etc.

Overall, Homeschooling the child with Asperger’s Syndrome is an excellent overview of homeschooling and a good read for anyone just getting started with it, and it may have some great nuggets for us old pros too.

Masterminds & Wingmen, a book review

I'm not sure why I chose such a long book for such a short month. I guess I just got into reading it and it became my February book - but 360 pages in 28 days is a significant chunk when your not just reading, but also trying to digest and process the information in a way that is applicable to your life and situation, as well as figure out what you really want to say about the information you've received.

So, first, I'll say this... if you plan to borrow this book from your library, plan to renew it at least once.

Masterminds & Wingmen: Helping Our Boys Cope with Schoolyard Power, Locker-Room Tests, Girlfriends, and the New Rules of Boy World by Rosalind Wiseman is a hunk of a title, but the book does deliver what it promises in the title.

By page 7 though, she's making some bold promises like

"This book...will show you [parents] how to make your values meaningful within the problem your son is facing." 

For the Christian parent, whose values are based on the One ultimate authority over morality, Wiseman falls short in this claim. Her suggestions are highly based on feminist ideals with an emphasis on maintaining a politically correct neutrality.

She quotes some statistics that I would opine are primarily caused by the feminist movement; for instance seventy percent of valedictorians are girls. (p18) One of her interview subjects says his friends don't sign up for AP classes because they don't want to be in competition with girls, and while she acknowledges that most boys feel this way based on her own research, she later instructs parents to make their sons accept and prepare for the fact that girls will be on opposing sports teams and they will have to learn to treat these girls as equal competitors. She makes no attempt to address the fact that God designed men to want to protect women and thus her advice goes against the very nature of the boys she is trying to help.

I do agree with her on some things. As a culture, we've determined that certain behaviors are more feminine than others. A boy with a higher voice, gentler touch, sensitive personality or a girlish demeanor are considered to have more feminine qualities. Instead of accepting these features as part of the man that this boy will become, our culture has labeled them as "gay" traits, and forces him into a stereotype that has nothing to do with who he is sexually attracted to. These biases in our culture cause young boys to take on characteristics of a stereotype and carry these learned behaviors into adulthood where they find they only fit in with a certain crowd. Even if he thinks he has been wrongly pegged, it can feel impossible to get out of this hole.

But, Wiseman takes it a step further. She claims that we've spent so much time telling girls that they are okay, not matter how they look or dress, and now there's a push to tell boys that same message, so that children are pushing the boundaries and some are choosing to throw out any appearances that might give them a gender identity at all. They are trying to be PAT. (Saturday Night Live)

Wiseman applauds this breaking of barriers and movement towards androgynous behavior saying,

"One of the bravest students I've ever known... would occasionally where a shiny black unitard to class." (p60)

Later, she encourages teaching some of what we might call gentlemanly habits in the name of politeness; things like shaking hands and holding doors for others. I can't help but be reminded of the strong, breaking-free from lady-like stereotypes woman in her fifties who nastily told my 6yo son, 

"I don't need no man to hold the door for me."

She is the image of feminism that pops into my mind when I read Masterminds and Wingmen, and I always feel a little sad for my son as he faces women like her while he tries to become the kind of man who will always want to hold the door or carry the books or in some way help the ladies he sees.

But, Wiseman does later remind me that the world is not full of ladies, and the womyn of this world won't always appreciate his efforts. It's my job to teach him to act like a gentleman anyway. But, Wiseman discourages boys from being too nice. She claims that teaching your son

"... to treat a girl like a delicate flower [] just encourages her to be incompetent, spoiled, and superficial." (p351)

I think this attitude damages the kinds of relationships that God intends in marriage, but Wiseman never mentions God or marriage. She's talking about how your son treats the girls he wants to "hook up" with and "bang".

This might be a real insight into the language and behaviors of boys, but I don't agree with encouraging our sons to be part of it. Wiseman assumes that high schoolers are going to be involved in sexual relationships and says you, the parent, don't really

"...want to know exactly what he did on your couch the other night." (p347)

Well, yes, actually, I do want to know what my sons are doing... on my couch, or anyone else's couch for that matter.

But, that puts me into one of Wiseman's bad parenting profiles.

By Chapter Five I'm convinced that Wiseman's research subjects, or editors as she refers to them, are all from a traditional school setting which certainly has an effect on their life experience and their worldview. Through them she offers some useful insights into Boy-World communication. As a homeschooling parent, my sons don't have to deal with the extensive social structure of school day in and day out, so I don't see the same dynamics. But, there are four of them here and I don't always understand how they communicate, so overall, I think this was the most useful chapter from my perspective.

I chafed a bit at Chapter 8 of Masterminds and Wingmen when she tries to profile parents. I find myself a little bit in all of the bad parenting styles she mentions. After feeling intensely judged, I decided I didn't really care for her writing technique of giving parents specific quotes that they should say to their child when a specific problem occurs. They seem too much like easy fixes, but I imagine there are some parents so troubled by their circumstances that they would appreciate having an expert tell them exactly what to say.

I'm not saying that Wiseman's ideas or suggestions lack merit. In fact, some of her opinions make good sense and if you parent boys who must tackle the challenges of a public school social setting, this book may be the best insight you can get into that world.

If you are a Christian parent, you may find that Masterminds and Wingmen has a lot of situations that frighten you and a lot of advice that you just can't agree with.

My favorite quote from Masterminds and Wingmen is this:

"Learning by immersing yourself in something you love is a creative problem-solving experience. This is education at its best." (p176) 

It is a wonderful quote. But, I also find it ironic considering that homeschooling is really the only environment where that is possible, and she encourages parents to give their sons opportunities for this while trying to teach them to survive a world of institutionalized schooling where these opportunities rarely, if ever, exist.

The chapter that most effected my thinking was chapter 10 of Wiseman's book, where I find myself conceding to her argument that parents should learn how to play the video games that their sons play. I don't want to do it, but her logic convinced me.

It's not a funny book, nor a funny subject but I did laugh out loud when I read this quote:

"...video games cause violence - by making mothers want to kill their children." (p180)

Reading this book had an effect on me that I suspect the author didn't intend.  Every time she made a comment like: 

"In first grade, most elementary schools let us drop off our kids early so they can play on the playground... this is also when kids really learn what school is about." (p294)

I was shocked and scared. But, I realize that what she says here is true and was my public school experience also. The effect? I just keep adding to my list of reasons to homeschool.

Some of the things she says ring true, some rub me as overtly politically correct, and a few times I felt a nagging idea that she was too obviously a woman writing about how it feels to be a boy. Maybe she's trying too hard to not offend anyone, and as a writer trying to sell a product, I get that.

Scaring children with just one word: Chores

I am sitting in my favorite armchair, with a cup of hot coffee - yes, you read that right, I am drinking coffee that is still hot.
The house is quiet.
How did I manage this, you are wondering. No, I didn't send them all away to boarding school, and no one is duct taped to the wall currently, and so as I came to sit down with my fresh hot coffee and a book, I too wondered why is it so quiet and where did they all go?

I may have discovered a new trick as I think about how this came to pass.

After lunch, I discussed schoolwork and goals and schedules with the children. Then, I put the baby down for a nap and in passing, mostly to myself commented on some chores that needed to be done.

I didn't ask any child to do them, just mentioned them in passing and then went to the kitchen to get my coffee.

When I returned, the living room was empty and all the children were gone. Silent as caterpillars they crawled up the stairs to their rooms.

Some are reading, some are playing, some are even sleeping.

I've tried to maintain an afternoon quiet time, but it hardly ever works because there is always one child who insists on being noisy. But, today, the mere mention of chores sent them all away.

I'm sure I can't use this trick every day, but today I'm going to enjoy the silence and enjoy my hot coffee before it gets cold and I'm going to try to finish my February book.

Baseballs, Broken Windows and Little Boys

I've been perusing some of the my old articles, trying to re-purpose my work. Online publishing is both good and bad; good because my work appears published instantly and that is gratifying, bad because it appears in a mountain of documents created by other writers seeking instant gratification and then it gets lost there.

So, I've started to go back to my first days of blogging and look again at the work that I've done and try to see how I can bring it out of the slush pile and back to life, so to speak. Some of them are a silly, waste of time and I wonder now why I bothered to click Publish. But, others are really excellent and I'm sad that they have been lost in the wasteland.

One of my favorites is a story about the day Ethan threw a baseball through our friends garage window, and then he learned how to fix the damage he'd done. That article memorialized that event for us, and those who've seen it have appreciated it. In fact, it was such a good piece that it has been stolen and copied a few times. Let me tell you, it is weird to see your work with someone else's byline.

But, I read somewhere, "Don't worry about your writing being stolen, worry about writing something worth stealing."

So, since this piece was so popular, I'm giving it a plug here so more of you can see it.

The original text and photos first appeared here on Hubpages.

How Children Fail, a book review

Some of us thrive on competition and approval. I did well in school when there was a prize at the end. But, learning simply for the joy of knowing? I lost that somewhere around second grade, when knowledge wasn't enough of a prize by itself. I didn't get it back until well into adulthood. Even now, when I take a class my mind retreat to How Do I Get An A? approach to learning. It's what I know, and it has been well-integrated into my publicly educated mind.

But, when I'm free from rewards and punishments, I learn much more and I learn it much faster. What motivates me?

Reading "How Children Fail" by John Holt as my January book to review made me consider these things.

We all fear failure in some way, and we all have learned by adulthood techniques for protecting ourselves from it. 

Some of us take the tactic of simply not trying. Holt says, "You can't fall out of bed if you sleep on the floor." Children who are used to missing the mark learn to expect failure and to set themselves up so that they (and their teachers) won't be disappointed.
I have a child who does this; I can see him tense up at the sight of new material because he is terrified that he will have to face failure if he attempts something new. That is my fault. I've been teaching him the way I was taught in school, but what worked for me doesn't work for him.

Some children are so concerned with getting to the right answer that they miss entirely the instructions they are supposed to be following (these kids love multiple choice questions, and they test well in this format, but not necessarily because they understand the questions). 

I have a student like this as well, and I see now that it is the result of my teaching her the way I was taught instead of the way she needs to know.

Some children refuse to admit what they don't know. They are so afraid of being wrong that they won't tell the teacher when they don't understand something. Holt says that information that goes by without understanding is like leaving something at the Howard Johnsons (that was the '50's, so maybe now we would say it's like leaving something at McDonalds). Eventually, you have to go back for it, so the sooner you go back and get it the better.

For years now, I've been plugging along, teaching the way I was taught, and I feel like Holt when he says, "the valiant and resolute band of travelers I thought I was leading towards a much-hoped-for destination turned out instead to be more like convicts in a chain gang..."

If they only knew how wonderful it would be to have the knowledge that I offer them, wouldn't they want to learn it as badly as I want them to? Probably not, but even if they did that doesn't mean that they want me to tell them how to learn it.

After watching my 15 month old learn to walk, I understand something else Holt explains in his book. She gets up and tries again because she is not afraid of failure. She does not see her falls as failure, she just knows something went wrong so she tries again.

This is what children do when left on their own. No one taught her how to walk. This is the joy of discovery. The night this video was taken, she took 28 steps in a row unassisted. She did not learn to walk at 9 months or even at a year, but she does not know that she walked later than her peers, and she doesn't care.

She is discovering the joy of learning something simply for the pleasure of knowing it.

There is good reason that John Holt is known as the father of unschooling; his words ring true to many of us who have been schooled.

This book, How Children Fail, I highly recommend to every parent and teacher and to anyone who has ever been a student.

Should Parents Be Embarrassing Their Children on The Internet? How Far is Too Far?

Can I use my children to promote my writing career? Is that crossing a line?

What if they are so funny, I just can't help myself?

My 15 year old is taking driver's training. First, she had to complete three weeks of classroom training, none of which actually teach anything about the actual act of driving a vehicle.

Then, she is supposed to go to six driving sessions, including riding along with another driver and behind the wheel time too.

The first scheduled behind the wheel session happened to fall on the same day as our first big snow storm. Even the instructor said he would have rescheduled if he had known how bad it was going to be.

So, that morning during Bible study, I asked for prayers for her.
I also may have jokingly said that she had never been behind the wheel of a car before and didn't even know the difference between the gas and the brake.

Well, those ladies couldn't let that go... they just had to tease her about that.

So, now I'm posting a blog about her reaction because I just can't help myself.
After being teased by the ladies at church, she came home and yelled at me, exclaiming the following:

"I DO SO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE GAS AND THE ACCELERATOR!"

It only took her about two seconds to realize what she had just said, but it took me another five minutes to stop laughing. Now, I'm sharing it with the world... have I gone too far?

I know one girl who thinks I have.

Fart is Air AKA Life with boys

Some days I think I could write a whole separate blog about life with boys... they do things my girls would NEVER do. Like the time they giggled all the way to play practice in the back seat, because they had discovered a new smell coming from the older boys armpits.

Today, for example, while I was teaching the 11 y.o. how to make spaghetti, the 4 y.o. stood in front of my 1y.o. daughter's high chair, sharing goldfish crackers and tantalizing conversation.

Soon, I heard his little voice explaining vital biology.

It went something like this:

"I have a butt crack, you have a butt crack..." at which point, I said...

"That's not nice talk." And, he said...

"But, everyone has a butt crack." At this point, I decided to let it go, and he happily moved on to less bathroom oriented conversation.

In an entirely different conversation, immediately after this, my 7 y.o. came in and asked to help with lunch. I said he could stir the fruit salad.

Boy: "Why are there bubbles?"

Mom: "When you stir, it makes air bubbles?"

Boy: "Oh. Fart is Air!"

Mom: "Um."

Boy: "When I fart in the bathtub, it makes bubbles. So, fart is air."

Mom: "Well, yes, it is air from your intestines."

Boy: (yelling very excitedly to 11 y.o.) "Hey, Ethan! FART IS AIR!!"

Mom quietly stirs spaghetti sauce and ponders the conversations that will occur in the next few decades of life with boys.

Even Mom Can't Read This Math Book

Awhile back someone asked me what the difference is between a Christian textbook and a secular textbook. "I mean how do you make Math Christian?"

Isn't the standard the same? Especially with Common Core, everyone should be learning the same thing, right?

People seem to recognize that Science would be different if provided by a Christian publisher since it would emphasize Creation and teach the Theory of Evolution, whereas a secular Science text would ignore or disregard Creation altogether and teach Evolution as fact. People generally seem to understand why we would purchase Christian Science materials and not be happy to use the same materials as the public school system.

But, with Math? Why does it matter if the publisher is Christian?

Well, the biggest difference that I've noticed is that Christian publishers tend to have problems such as this:
"The Matthews family gives a tithe of $200 every month to the church. They also give $50 to missionaries and $25 to help a young man go to a Christian college. What is the total amount of their gifts?"
(BJUP, Math 5)

Pretty straight forward question. It certainly includes a Christian bent, but it is also easy to read and understand.

This year we are using secular math materials with our older children (Grade 5 and up). I'm using Spectrum, which advertises right on the front of their workbooks "meets common core standards".

Last week, my fifth grader came to me with a math question he could not understand. Generally, this child is excellent at math, and works independently. So, when he didn't understand the question, I was concerned.

It started out like this, "Danielle, Tamequa, ..." He was stuck on this second word. It wasn't like any he'd ever seen before.
The sentence continued, "Danielle, Tamequa, Rashawn, and Joaquin are in Mrs. Thompson's fifth-grade class." By Joaquin, my boy was completely confused.

I tried to explain that these are children's names, even though we've never heard them before. Then, he asked me the question that knocked my argument out of the water.
"If these are names, how do you pronounce them?" Out of respect for the parents who choose these names, I didn't even try.

I understand being politically correct, and I understand wanting to include all sorts of people groups in the representation of story problems. What I don't understand how they expect the average fifth grader to read this.

Go ahead and use hard to pronounce and phonetically awkward but unique and interesting names in literature, but isn't the mixture of numbers, letters and symbols in Algebra confusing enough without giving the poor kid story problems he can't even read.