Finding Hope: From Brokenness to Restoration by Heidi Goehmann; a book review

"Hope isn’t really hope until you need it,” Goehmann says in her book titled Finding Hope. Christ is the hope that comes in the brokenness of our lives. The brokenness of sin – our own, the sin of those around us, original sin, and the labor pains of a fallen world. Christ is there in the midst of it, redeeming us, redeeming the whole world.

This is the gist of her message woven throughout this hundred and fifty page book. The hope she speaks of is the hope we see in Romans chapter 5, where we read, “…suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit…” (See Romans 5:3-5)

The world needs this hope, we need this hope, to know that brokenness can be healed. When we are honest about our brokenness we unveil if from the shame and blame that cloaks it, and we bring it into the light so it can be healed. Brokenness makes us ask God “Who am I? Because if I am Yours, then why all of this?” Brokenness makes us ask “Am I worthy of being loved?”

Goehmann, a licensed clinical social worker and mental health care provider, says we need to learn to name the brokenness, and part of that is being honest about how we feel. When we hold in our emotions – our bodies take the brunt of them in stress, tension, and inflammation. We get into trouble when we let our emotions boil over onto others – our feelings should not lead the way in our decision making, and yet in our brokenness, they often do. The Holy Spirit is our Counselor and God’s Word is our guide. These speak truth, hope, and love when our emotions speak all sorts of other things.

We walk a broken journey with an unbreakable Savior, Goehmann is quick to remind us.

When we gather around God’s Word, we are reminded of Christ, who speaks hope over brokenness. With His Word and by His Spirit, we can walk through brokenness. We rejoice in hope, in the glory of God. Even in Christ, the race we run in this life is not easy. Imagine how hard it is to walk through this life of brokenness without Christ. That is why we share Christ with others. To give them Hope. We raise the banner of Christ for the world to see. We raise it over the darkness and brokenness that surrounds us and our neighbors.

We cannot avoid brokenness; to try to escape it is to heap unrealistic expectations of perfection upon ourselves and those around us. We often work to make our families “appear” to be without brokenness, and this is dishonest. It prevents us from getting the help we need, forces us into isolation, and causes increasing anxiety. It also forces us to carry shame and leads us to avoid relationships with other Christians who can comfort us with the hope that is in Christ.

The light of Hope is more clearly seen when we confess our sins and acknowledge our need for a Savior. Perfect people do not exist in this world but forgiven and loved people do. God brings hope to us all and gives us an Identity in Him. We look out into our broken communities that need the Hope of Christ, and we ask the same question that Jesus was asked in Luke chapter 10, “Who is my neighbor?” and the answer is the same as it was then, “The person in the ditch is your neighbor. The one who needs compassion is your neighbor. The broken, the bruised, the one in need – that’s your neighbor.” (see Luke 10:25-37)

Goehmann urges us to see Christ in all things. She reminds readers that “Our broken things are never left untouched by God.” He may not return things to the way they once were, the things of this world never last, but He sends His Son to give us eternal healing.

Finding Hope ends with a series of discussion questions to go along with each chapter, from brokenness in ourselves, and our relationships to brokenness in our neighborhoods and communities. She points the reader over and over again to the One who makes all things new.

Brokenness impacts everything. But it doesn’t get the last word. Christ does.

Easy burger patties - no touching!

I don't like touching cold, raw hamburger meat, but we all love burgers for dinner.

I came up with this simple, nifty trick for making burger patties that are relatively equal in size, but don't require me to keep sticking my hands back into the meat bowl.

By the time I mix up the spices and the meat (bare handed), my hands are miserable... so I want to wash them and be done with the meat touching.

First, I decided to use my ice cream scoop to get even servings...

Next, to make them patties, I used my potato masher to get them flat.

And, then, tada
Decent looking patties with no touching!

Share your cooking tips in the comments. I would love to hear them.

The Flipside of Feminism by Suzanne Venker; a book review

First, I wanted to love this book. I wanted to be on Venker's side. I knew going in that this book would address some things that I have felt for a long time needed to be addressed. I also knew I would run the risk of having my review jaded because I already agree with some of her precepts.

However, the first chapter was so harsh, she almost lost me. In fact, some of the members of my book club stopped reading after the first chapter. Venker comes out of the gates strong, rallying for a fight, and I appreciate her passion to give a voice to women who have been silenced for two generations.

I do believe that women who choose family over careers and spotlights are without a voice. We are too busy being the mothers and wives that we want to be; the administration of a household requires a great deal of energy, intelligence, creativity, frugality, ingenuity and most of all, time. Writing a book demands those things, and many of us are not willing to split our time and energy between the two tasks.

I take pride in the job I do in my home. I like it to be neat and orderly, and efficient. I enjoy the work of caring for and teaching my children. My job is much too important to be set aside so I can go rallying in Washington D.C. to make policy changes. I am not alone.

There are many women who are doing the exact same thing - putting their families above all other earthly things; money, fame, prestige, etc. We think liberal ideology (by this term I mean "free for all" not a reference to a political party) is generally ridiculous. We think the ideas, such as late term abortions, easy-peasy divorces, tax penalties for married couples, marriage that is anything other than one man & one woman, for example are so ridiculous that they won't possibly happen. But, then, they do, and we are shocked. We sigh, and we pray, and we're disappointed in the people who are supposed to represent us. But, in the end, we refuse to sacrifice the most important job in the world to go do their job. We'd love for our husbands to do it on our behalf, but they are too busy working double shifts to earn enough money for our families to survive in a world where all the prices reflect households with two incomes. So, we lament. And, mostly, we are silent.

Venker is trying to break that silence. I think her first chapter is meant to be a rallying cry to these women. Or maybe it is meant to incite the opposition. I'm not sure which. Likely, it's both.

Some of what she says speaks directly to my own experience, particularly the extreme feminist ideology in public education. I saw many of the same things twenty years ago as a high school and college student, again five years ago as a returning adult student, and even today as I listen to my daughter talk about her college experience. I don't think these situations are outliers. I think they are the norm.

**Anecdotal evidence does not a good argument make, however.

By chapter 3, she gets to the meat of her argument, so hopefully you make it that far.

She tries to answer questions like, If we listen to the message that casual sex is "liberating" for women, and we pass out condoms in elementary schools like this one in Massachusetts, or this one in Oregon, what does that do to our society?

Chapter 4 is about marriage. Venker asks questions like What happens to marriage if we tell women that their number one priority in life should be their own personal happiness? If we tell children to only do what feels good, what happens to our neighbor?

My favorite quote from this chapter is this one by George Gilder, "The crucial process of civilization is the subordination of male sexual impulses and biology to the long-term horizons of female sexuality. In creating civilization, women transform male lust into love; channel wanderlust into jobs, homes and families; link men to specific children; rear children into citizens; and change hunters to fathers. The prime fact of life is the sexual superiority of women."

Why would we willingly give that up?? What fantastical ideas must we have to make us think there is something more valuable to chase after than what we already had?

Venker tries to answer questions like, what happens when we tell girls that they can't possibly WANT to stay home with their children? That if she thinks she wants it, the she must be delusional, brain-washed or under the influence of old-fashioned and backwards ideas.

But, we are not just sitting around watching the world go by. We are teaching our children, as best we can against the tirade of media messages that oppose us, Truth. And, we are finding each other. Secret groups are popping up all over the internet for women to share their experiences, have conversations about these issues and figure out how to bring them to light without abandoning our families.

Women who believe that one marriage to one man is enough. Women who believe that children are a blessing, not a curse. Women who believe caring for their home and family is the most important job they will ever do in their lives. Women who believe their husbands are good men who provide for their families and that's exactly what they want their husbands to do. These women are from all over the globe reaching out to one another, encouraging and uplifting one another.

They are not alone.

But, they are also not loud.

Venker is screaming on their behalf.

If you feel like feminism has chipped away at all that makes women feminine, and that the conservative woman (conserving means to keep the same, not a reference to a political party) has been silenced for too long, then you might love what Venker is doing here. I appreciate what I think she is trying to do.

In Chapter 5, she tackles the concept of the working woman, two-income households, and the ultimate decline of overall care for the raising of children.

In the 1960's, feminists proposed a narrative that women were being forced into what they equated as slave labor by men who got them pregnant, trapped them in tenements, and spent all the family money on booze and binges. Someone needed to step in on her behalf because she was certainly unable to defend herself, and feminists said that someone needed to be the government.

First and foremost, the only way for her to really get out of her predicament was to eliminate the children that she had to care for. The simplest way? Kill them before they are born.

They didn't use the word kill, of course, because they weren't stupid. They knew a campaign of "Kids wearing you down? Hit man for hire. Cheap!" would not have gone over very well. But, it's essentially the plan they had in mind.

By the 1980's (my growing up years), the message was Girl Power! - Girls can do everything boys can do and girls can do it better. Men are unnecessary, so leave them behind; children are a trap, kill them before they kill you. By then, it was pretty clear that a human fetus is an actual baby  - not a fish/lizard evolving in the womb (remember those old health class videos?). So, the messages were more along the lines of 'It's human, but it's really a parasite because it can't survive without a host.' Parasites are bad, right?

Today, the message is 'you poor, poor woman' You could have had it all, if only you hadn't gotten knocked up (more birth control needed), or if you hadn't had to keep the baby (more accessible abortions needed). But, don't worry, you can still have it all. Just, don't marry the baby's father, and sign up for these government programs: free food, free health care, free job training, free day care and free schools. You still don't need a husband, the government will be your provider.

Women who do get married are still portrayed as victims, with popular sitcoms making fun of wives who must always 'fix' the mistakes of their buffoon husbands.

And, there I go, rewriting her book. Which is probably a good lead in for my conclusion. In our book club discussion, this question was posed: If conservative women feel silented in the public media, and if these women want to have a voice in the public square, is Venker the voice they want to represent them?

Yes. - I want the passion and commitment she brings to the table.
No. - She does not cover all the issues that I think matter.
Yes. - She does speak to my own experience.
No. She makes some strokes that I think are too broad, and her research is not deep enough.
Yes. - There are not enough voices. Many of us are unwilling to sacrifice our family time to pursue such a project.
No. - One voice will never speak to all the issues.
Yes. - Someone must be the voice, why not Venker?

If you want to read it for yourself, and I think you should, you can find it here. The Flipside of Feminism by Suzanne Venker

Do Girl Scout Cookie Sales Pay For Abortions?

The link between Girl Scouts and Planned Parenthood has been a direct connection in my mind for years. Recently, my mom friends have started posting photos of their adorable little girls on my Facebook page with pleas to buy the cookies they peddle. Also, along with these pleas, has come a link to this SNOPES article which claims that the rumor stating a link between GS cookies and Planned Parenthood is FALSE.

Now, I generally think of SNOPES as pretty good at investigative journalism and give them the benefit of the doubt on their due diligence. But, this article does not demonstrate good investigative journalism. The search is on for the truth, because I don't want to keep spreading a rumor that isn't true.

I think SNOPES dropped the ball on this issue because they only asked one person one question. The GSUSA rep who gets paid to make this organization look good in the public's eye, said "no." Now, to be fair, she only addressed this claim:

Some or all of the proceeds of Girl Scout Cookies are disbursed to Planned Parenthood.

So, on this claim alone, the Snopes writer finds the premise to be false. But, I have to wonder if this is like Planned Parenthood's claim that no federal dollars pay for abortions? Because as we all know, receiving a large chunk of cash for one part of your business frees up your other funds for the other parts. So, where does cookie money go?

CBS asked one Minnesota council this question and got this answer. In the response, twenty percent (after paying for cookies to be baked and distributed of course) goes to the local troop. The rest is used for camps, administration, etc. Twelve percent goes to leadership programming. So, if the only question we ask is this: When I buy a box of Girl Scout cookies, will that money be used to directly pay for someone's child to be aborted? The answer is no. Is this enough to settle my conscience? The answer is also no.

I think we need to ask more questions. What is included in leadership programming? Does it include paying for speakers who promote Planned Parenthood? Does it help pay for the awards they give out, like honoring the Planned Parenthood CEO as a Woman of Distinction and presenting her as a role model for the next generation of girls?

The girlscouts.org website claims that the national council makes money from every box sold through licensing fees. This is not part of the $4 you pay to that little girl, rather it is based on the total number of boxes sold. So, if the only question we ask is will the national organization of GSUSA get money because I buy this box of cookies? The answer is yes. Yes, they will. They will receive funds from every box sold.

The writer of the Snopes article, and others, claim that cookie-cotts" organized by pro-life groups begin from false rumors. However, the Waco, Texas cookie-cott of 2014 had specific roots in the partnership between their local council and Planned Parenthood. The two organizations partnered to offer a sex education program for girls called Nobody's Fool that included the Girl Scout logo in their advertising materials and contained material on masturbation, birth control, homosexuality and abortion that many parents called graphic and some claimed that the material being taught was in opposition to their family values. These materials are in opposition to my family values too.

Some pro-life groups are concerned about not only the direct financial links, but all the associations. Planned Parenthood is just one of the global organizations that promote or provide abortions.

The website girlscouts.org explains their relationship with the World Association of Girl Guides and Girl Scouts like this: "Every Girl Scout and Girl Guide organization is a member of the World Association of Girl Guides and Girl Scouts - and each Member Organization, including Girl Scouts of the USA, pays dues. WAGGGS operates in much the same way as the United Nations: Each Member Organization pays dues based on the size of its membership and per capita income of the country in which the organization resides." and explains the finances like this: "The national funds that GSUSA sends to WAGGGS come solely from investment income."

Anna Maria Chavez, CEO of GSUSA says her favorite quote is "Tell me who you hang out with and I'll tell you who you are."

If we take her advice, we might wonder about the GSUSA membership in WAGGGS - which they pay over $1 million dollars in membership dues to. Which according to the GS website, these dues are based directly on the number of girls who pay membership dues to GSUSA. Pro-life parents did wonder in 2013 when WAGGGS participated in a worldwide conference with the following partners: Featured speakers: late-term abortionist LeRoy Carhart, philosopher and supporter of infanticide and euthanasia Peter Singer, and Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius; breakout sessions titled "Outing and Addressing Abortion Stigma" and "Why I Perform Abortions." Exhibitors included abortion and population control advocates such as Amnesty International, Guttmacher Institute, International Planned Parenthood Federation, Marie Stopes International, Planned Parenthood Federation of America, United Nations Population Fund and WAGGGS.

Pro-life parents should be wondering what their girls are gaining from their membership in GSUSA when the organization is used to honor Wendy Davis as "Incredible Woman of the Year," after what ABC News called her "marathon filibuster against abortion restrictions" in Texas.

If we ask just one question: Will the $4 I give you to purchase this box of cookies be used to kill babies? the answer will be a resounding no. But, the truth lies deeper. The answer is more like, no, not really, but it might pay for pro-abortion speakers to come and teach us Planned Parenthood curriculum. The national organization will receive licensing fees for the sale of this box you are purchasing and that organization will pay membership fees to a worldwide organization that will be promoting abortion around the world. So, if you would like to subtly support abortion, while pretending you don't, then yes, your purchase will do that.

Final Personal Note: I would not consider this to be investigative journalism either. But, the beginning of an investigation is to ask more than one question. You could easily find much more information and documentation of the link between these organizations with a little time.

I was convinced to pull my girls from Scouting when we received a new Junior book that stated in parentheses after the phrase "On my honor I will try to serve God and my country..." a side note claiming the word 'God' could be replaced by any appropriate word that represented the girls faith.

It was a year or so later that we learned that they CEO of PP had been honored by the Girl Scouts and knew that we were right to pull out.

I have not questioned this decision since then, until a mom whose daughter is selling cookies posted the Snopes link. I thought I should revisit the issue to see if things had changed. If anything, it is worse.

I still believe that the links between Girl Scouts and the abortion industry are too many to ignore. I'm not asking you to boycott your local girls or start yelling at them about abortion when they ask, but do a little digging for yourself and let your conscience decide.

Train Cake DIY How to make a simple train cake

With 8 kids, there's always a birthday coming up. We only do birthday parties on the 5th, 10th and 15th birthdays, but I try to make a special cake for every birthday.

It would seem like I would be pretty good at cake-making and decorating by now, but no.

So, I'm always looking for simple, cute cakes for birthdays. Here's an idea for a train theme that we just used for Noah's 7th birthday.

It starts with two dozen cupcakes.

Then, I laid them out in an oval track shape with a seven in the middle.

I sprayed the tops with whip cream - easier and faster than trying to frost them. Also, it's a January birthday, so the snow look fits with the theme.

Then, I laid Kit Kat "tracks" around the oval and on the center pieces.

Last, I laid the extra track pieces around the edges, added some decorations like trees, signs and train cars. Then, I presented it to the very pleased birthday boy.

Family stick figure auto decals on a budget

I have always loved the cute little sticker "stick" people on the backs of automobiles. I have read articles like this one about the dangers of these decals and the information that they might provide to criminals about my family. But, I still wanted them.

Over the past few years, I have looked for them in stores and searched them out on websites, but they are always 5-6 dollars per figure plus shipping and I could never quite decide which ones I liked the best. At that price, it seemed like such a permanent decision.

But, I kept wanting them.

So, for my Sunday afternoon relaxing creative activity I decided to make some.

Sketches

First, I made sketches of what I wanted the people to look like.

I traced one of the magnetic sheets (2 for $2.99 at Walmart in the craft section) onto a piece of printer paper, and fit the pencil drawings inside that space.

Then, I colored in my little people. My husband the pastor, and me with my Higher Things t-shirt, and my oldest daughter with pink hair. She doesn't actually have pink hair, but it goes well with her personality, so there it is.

 I used permanent markers that we already owned, so I didn't figure these into the cost, although you would if you were planning this activity for a group or if you don't already use giant packs of multi-colored permanent markers for a million other projects. (probably less than $20 for all sorts of colors and then they would have lots of ink left in them when you finished this small project)

Next, I cut out the rectangle.

Then, I peeled the backing off of the peel and stick magnet and laid the rectangle of paper on top of the sticky side.

I cut out a piece of laminate to fit over the paper.
This is important because I plan to stick these on
the outside of the van, so just paper would get wet
and the ink would run and they would not last.

DISCLAIMER: I've never done anything like this before, so it's all guesswork. 

I'm just hoping it works. A huge roll of laminate cost us $5.78 and I used about 6 inches of it. We bought it for another project and having it here is what actually gave me the idea to do this. But, if you were planning this activity for a group, you would need to calculate this cost also.

I smoothed out the laminate and then started cutting out each person.

But, then, I decided to cut out just the rectangle around the figures. This works for me because our van is white. I may change my mind later, but I think it will look okay and the greater surface area will help them stay put.

This was so easy and so much fun. I think I am going to pick up some more of the magnet sheet and make some "paper" dolls and other objects for my 3 year old to play with on the refrigerator.

Do calories count if I throw up?

First, let's get a few things straight: 

I am overweight.

I am counting calories in order to lose weight.

I am NOT bulimic.

I do throw up sometimes.

I spent two stressful days on the road for a funeral. I ate fair food, fast food and gas station food.

For TWO DAYS!

I ate a LOT of calories.

My first night home, I woke up sick. I'm sure it was my body rejecting my poor excuse for nutrition. But, it made me curious. I wondered if the calories would still count against me.

I searched this question and found some disturbing answers. Most of them were along the lines of 

"If you're sick, you shouldn't be worried about calorie counting."

OR

assumptions that the question implied the person asking had a problem such as bulimia.

But, I'm curious and I like the math to be accurate. I like to think of things scientifically. So, I changed my question.

What is a calorie? A calorie is a measurement of the heat that is required to heat one milliliter of water one centigrade. Read more here.

How does the human body get calories? Here's the basic answer from a microbiologist:

Food is broken down into smaller parts to make it easier to digest in the mouth and stomach. (macro-nutrients into micro-nutrients).

Nutrients are not absorbed into the body until they are broken down into their simplest parts, which happens in the small intestine. These nutrients contain the calories.

So, the short, uncomplicated answer is this: Calories enter your body in the small intestine, so food you throw up does not contain calories you can count.

Another simple explanation can be found here. Keeping this phrase in mind, "Absorption must first occur so that fuel can enter the cell."

So, there you go. If you are just curious like me, I hope this helps you understand the process. Sometimes,  you just have to ask the right questions.

One Constant to Stop All Things From Spinning Out of Control

...as it was in the beginning, is now, and always will be

How many things can you say that about? I can only think of one.
Life is always changing. Little things we barely notice, like boys becoming men, until we can't find a single shirt that doesn't reveal his belly button.
Some changes happen much faster, much more sudden, so fast in fact that we remain in shock and disbelief for a time while it all sinks in.

Change is ongoing. Nothing in my life is as it was in the beginning... nothing but one thing.

We've been watching some caterpillars at our house lately.

They started out very tiny when they first arrived, and we watched them grow. We generally agreed that they were sort of ugly.

During this same time, our home in Michigan was growing uglier and uglier as the tenants became more and more malicious.

Then, things began to change in our little caterpillar jar. The caterpillars made chrysalides (also sort of ugly). 

Our home in Michigan began to take on a transformation also. As we waited for the court system to give us legal possession of the home and force the tenants out, we began the process of siding the house with vinyl. Over the top of nasty old pressboard that was no longer salvageable with any amount of paint, it was like a caterpillar turn butterfly.

Every day, we watched the caterpillars turn chrysalides and wondered at the transformation happening within. At the same time, we received pictures of the house that was once our home as it went from something ugly to something more beautiful.

Wouldn't it be nice if everything in life worked out that way? But, this is where the parallel ends. In fact, soon after receiving this photo:

and this, everything would change again.

Isn't it beautiful?
As the progress went along on the house, I forgot about our science project. The caterpillars just did their thing, they didn't need us. We moved them to a butterfly enclosure and left them alone, well except for the occasional photo.

They too, were becoming gradually less ugly, without any help from us. The house, on the other hand, needed human assistance and so that is where my mind was.
Things moved quickly.
The tenants were summarily evicted by the judge and we patiently waited the ten days for them to actually be removed from the property, but exterior improvements continued. When the tenants were out, we were ready! In just two days, six dumpsters worth of food, clothing, garbage and other household items were removed from the house; apparently we had rented to hoarders.

The clean up was going well, the transformation coming along nicely. Unlike the chrysalides, whose process could only be seen from the outside, this transformation was being visually photographed at every stage. I imagined the before and after album that I would someday create when this project was done.

But, change is not always as we plan it.

After days of happy progress reports coming in and talk of colors and design plans... the next photo I received would look like this:

It happens in an instant. I know everyone says that about fire, but you really don't know until suddenly the entire thing is gone.

A guy doing the siding, said "... before I knew that it was on fire, it was underneath my feet."

A part of me is weighted down with guilt, as I know everyone who was there is also; I feel guilty for not being there working along side of them. As though somehow my mind believes that I could have or would have changed the outcome of the events of that day. But, my heart knows that it is not so. Yet the burden of guilt is not swayed.

I know from experience that many times in life we experience tragedy and loss, the more years we live, the more we know this. I also know that some times things seem hopeless and unchangeable. But, things that stay the same? There is only one. He is as He was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be. All else is fluid, like vapor in the wind.

I know that as time passes, those losses become memories and we continue to live. We are not lost with them. God pushes us through to the other side (you can say carries, but I always feel like I'm being pushed through these things).

But, my mind will not be quiet, it will not settle and I stay up at night, playing and replaying every possible scenario; every possible could have, should have, and nothing changes. But, everything has changed.

The caterpillar forgotten, I was surprised to find this today:

The late blooming caterpillar who seemed to never start his chrysalis, and we gave up on, made his chrysalis anyway, not on the tissue where we'd planned it, but on the inside of an overturned cup. 

The chrysalis that fell when we moved it, and we thought would die in the bottom of the enclosure - he was the first to emerge and show us his beautiful colors. 

I am reminded that I do not know what the future holds, no matter how well laid my plans.

Things change, under God's watchful eye, whether I put it out of my mind or watch it carefully. I am not in control.

Even when we ourselves are paralyzed by indecision, stress and fear; even when we seem stuck in a place of darkness and despair - God is ever watchful. He who makes sure that the creatures I neglected survive and flourish, is even more watchful over me.

But, as with all that is in this earthly world, none of it will remain. The butterfly will lay its eggs and die, in just a few weeks. That is all the life that it will have. So much work for so little. Like the men who watched the siding they had just installed melt before their very eyes, so much work... and like all else, it is nothing.

Even when, and especially when all is changing, fleeting, dying, melting away... One is as He was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be. Only One. And that is where my comfort lies.

Baseballs, Broken Windows and Little Boys

I've been perusing some of the my old articles, trying to re-purpose my work. Online publishing is both good and bad; good because my work appears published instantly and that is gratifying, bad because it appears in a mountain of documents created by other writers seeking instant gratification and then it gets lost there.

So, I've started to go back to my first days of blogging and look again at the work that I've done and try to see how I can bring it out of the slush pile and back to life, so to speak. Some of them are a silly, waste of time and I wonder now why I bothered to click Publish. But, others are really excellent and I'm sad that they have been lost in the wasteland.

One of my favorites is a story about the day Ethan threw a baseball through our friends garage window, and then he learned how to fix the damage he'd done. That article memorialized that event for us, and those who've seen it have appreciated it. In fact, it was such a good piece that it has been stolen and copied a few times. Let me tell you, it is weird to see your work with someone else's byline.

But, I read somewhere, "Don't worry about your writing being stolen, worry about writing something worth stealing."

So, since this piece was so popular, I'm giving it a plug here so more of you can see it.

The original text and photos first appeared here on Hubpages.

How Children Fail, a book review

Some of us thrive on competition and approval. I did well in school when there was a prize at the end. But, learning simply for the joy of knowing? I lost that somewhere around second grade, when knowledge wasn't enough of a prize by itself. I didn't get it back until well into adulthood. Even now, when I take a class my mind retreat to How Do I Get An A? approach to learning. It's what I know, and it has been well-integrated into my publicly educated mind.

But, when I'm free from rewards and punishments, I learn much more and I learn it much faster. What motivates me?

Reading "How Children Fail" by John Holt as my January book to review made me consider these things.

We all fear failure in some way, and we all have learned by adulthood techniques for protecting ourselves from it. 

Some of us take the tactic of simply not trying. Holt says, "You can't fall out of bed if you sleep on the floor." Children who are used to missing the mark learn to expect failure and to set themselves up so that they (and their teachers) won't be disappointed.
I have a child who does this; I can see him tense up at the sight of new material because he is terrified that he will have to face failure if he attempts something new. That is my fault. I've been teaching him the way I was taught in school, but what worked for me doesn't work for him.

Some children are so concerned with getting to the right answer that they miss entirely the instructions they are supposed to be following (these kids love multiple choice questions, and they test well in this format, but not necessarily because they understand the questions). 

I have a student like this as well, and I see now that it is the result of my teaching her the way I was taught instead of the way she needs to know.

Some children refuse to admit what they don't know. They are so afraid of being wrong that they won't tell the teacher when they don't understand something. Holt says that information that goes by without understanding is like leaving something at the Howard Johnsons (that was the '50's, so maybe now we would say it's like leaving something at McDonalds). Eventually, you have to go back for it, so the sooner you go back and get it the better.

For years now, I've been plugging along, teaching the way I was taught, and I feel like Holt when he says, "the valiant and resolute band of travelers I thought I was leading towards a much-hoped-for destination turned out instead to be more like convicts in a chain gang..."

If they only knew how wonderful it would be to have the knowledge that I offer them, wouldn't they want to learn it as badly as I want them to? Probably not, but even if they did that doesn't mean that they want me to tell them how to learn it.

After watching my 15 month old learn to walk, I understand something else Holt explains in his book. She gets up and tries again because she is not afraid of failure. She does not see her falls as failure, she just knows something went wrong so she tries again.

This is what children do when left on their own. No one taught her how to walk. This is the joy of discovery. The night this video was taken, she took 28 steps in a row unassisted. She did not learn to walk at 9 months or even at a year, but she does not know that she walked later than her peers, and she doesn't care.

She is discovering the joy of learning something simply for the pleasure of knowing it.

There is good reason that John Holt is known as the father of unschooling; his words ring true to many of us who have been schooled.

This book, How Children Fail, I highly recommend to every parent and teacher and to anyone who has ever been a student.

Homemade Dishwasher Detergent, Is it worth it?

One of my favorite books is called Your Money or Your Life. It had a profound impact on how I saw my relationship with money. It's a great text, and I highly recommend it, but in a nutshell, it boils down to this basic concept:

You are constantly trading minutes of your life for some item of value. You have limited minutes, so choose wisely.

My regular readers and friends know that I like to do experiments with frugality, it's sort of like a game to me. Someone recently told me it wasn't worth their time to make their own cleaning products, which got me thinking about how I value my time and whether or not the task is worth my time.

I'm starting with Dishwashing Detergent. It's a simple recipe that takes me less time to make than it will take me to write this blog.

The recipe is equal parts Borax and Washing Soda. Easy Peasy. I usually mix it up two cups of each at a time, since that's what  fits best in the container I use.

I'm using Amazon for pricing, even though Walmart is actually cheaper just to make comparison easy.
Borax: $9.89 for 76oz or $.13/oz
Washing Soda: $8.99 for 55oz or $.14/oz
Or I can get both of these items in a package deal here.
Combined: $16.09 for 131oz or $.12/oz

Cascade Powder, which is comparable to the product I end up with, costs $15.02 for 75oz or $.20/oz

4 cups = 32oz, so if I save $.08 per oz, then I trade my time making it for $2.56

I keep these two products on my regular grocery list so I don't spend extra time shopping for them, and I use them for other things around the house. I make dishwasher detergent whenever I notice the container is low. The process consists of grabbing two boxes from my cleaning supplies, pouring two cups of each into the container, closing the lid and shaking it up.
I open the lid back up and replace the 1Tbsp. sized scoop, then I'm done.

The whole ordeal takes less than five minutes, so if I calculate its value based on a per hour rate, my dishwashing detergent nets me a value of over $51 per hour.

That might not be enough to make it worthwhile for some people, but that's big bucks to me, so is it worth it to make my own? I'd say it sure is.

Being the Memory Maker

Photo taken at Heartwood Resort. 

I don't get out much. I like being at home. But, when I leave home, I like to go somewhere with a view.

I've been called "culturally illiterate", and it's probably true. I don't read the paper or watch the news or spend time keeping up with the latest entertainers. I don't know what movie stars are having babies or who their baby daddy is and I didn't watch last nights game. I don't keep up and I generally just don't care that much.

I often feel like Temperance Brennan on Bones when someone makes a cultural reference and she replies with a matter of fact

"I don't know what that means."

But, I'm just busy caring about and thinking about other things, and time feels short. Maybe it's because I'm getting older...
A young mom asked me the other day, "How do you know all these stories?"
I laughed, but after thinking it over, I realized that I have just lived. I listen to people talk, I watch their lives go by and I remember. I've had a lot of experiences, so I have a lot of stories to tell.

I have memories.

Not all of my memories are good. Some are horrible, and tragic. Some bring me to tears. Some memories send me to my room to hide under a blanket and wish I never had to come out. Some of them are just that bad.

But, I am made up of memories. My fears and joys, my hopes and dreams are often built upon these memories.

I know that my kids will have a lifetime of them, how ever long that life will be. So, today, instead of keeping up with the Who-nots in Hollywood or watching the ball players in the stadium, I am going to be a memory maker. I'm going to do my best to sprinkle in some really good ones, the kind that make you smile, and even cry tears of joy just to think of them.

Homeschooling: Counting the Hours

The state of Wisconsin requires "...a minimum of 875 hours of instruction each year..." That's five (5) hours per day for one hundred seventy-five (175) days. That sounds like a LOT. I mean, that's a lot of instruction time. 

The thing I like about requirements, after coming from two states that had none, is that it gives me an excuse to make my children work through the days when they just don't feel like it. 
I can say, "Hey, it's not me, I would gladly let you take today off, but the state says we have to log these hours."
It's also a good excuse to get started early this year. We took some time off to move and get settled into our new home, and during this time I've been working on organizing my library and writing lesson plans. I am excited to get started. When the kids resisted, I just reminded them that have hours to log (I even made each child a piece of graph paper with their 875 squares). I said we might as well get a head start or we'll be crying in June when all our friends are done and we're still trying to fill in our squares. They relented, and the school year began.

So, I'm thinking about these little squares and wondering, besides sitting at the table while I talk at them, what activities do we count as worthy of filling in a square? What hours count as "hours of instruction"?

I had planned for today to be a day off, so no hours to log, right? We did our household chores - I scrubbed the grout on my kitchen floor and it's awesome... but, that's a blog for another day. After chores, we spent the rest of the day at the beach. That's not "instruction" is it?

But, then, Noah learned how to catch frogs, and how to let them go. Life Science 

Jacob learned that somersaults in the sand and somersaults in the water are entirely different things, but both are fun. Gravity, water tension, buoyancy...  

Ethan learned to use his goggles without letting them fill up with water. suction, air pressure, water...
 pressure...

Tyler learned how to identify the backs of snails in the dirt and recognize them among the rocks, and when he accidentally swallowed some water that he was sure had a minnow in it... our day quickly led to a lesson in the human digestive system. Geology, biology

Caitlin found a clam? or maybe an oyster? that she brought home and dissected in hopes of finding a pearl. biology with lab

This group looks like a class to me.

 I've never dissected a clam before...

 "Can we make clam chowder?"

"Whoa! Intestines??"

How can I not count these as "hours of instruction"? With this in mind, I wonder what will happen when I've chalked up 875 boxes and I still want them to sit at the table and listen to me talk at them... How will I convince them to go along? It may be time to hide the graphs.

BTW: We confirmed that Caitlin's catch was a clam, so no pearl, but she did get a pretty neat souvenir shell.

What's in a name?

When I started this blog I named it OneCrazyLady because that represented how I felt most days. I struggled to find like-minded folks. I was raising six kids as Confessional Lutherans while spending our days in homeschool fellowship with Baptists and Pentacostals. We were all confused.

Our calendar was always packed.

I was trying out all sorts of things that seemed crazy in the culture we were living; like diapering with cloth, birthing at home, nursing for more than a year and writing my own curriculum. It was a busy time and I often felt like I was crazy. I was trying to get everything perfect, and live up to the standard set by the "perfect women" who kept "perfect homes", and had "perfect children". I felt like I had to be "good enough" to be their friend.

I'm still doing all those crazy things, but I have since found a whole community of like-minded ladies, who live  and breathe the same moments that I do. Those friends have helped me to discover that I don't have to do everything perfectly to be their friend. In fact, the more I fail, the more they like me. Good friends are funny like that.

I still struggle daily to get things right; the right balance of chores, schoolwork and fun, the right curriculum, the right materials, the right discipline. But, I have learned that I am not crazy and I am not alone. Instead, I am surrounded by women who are trying to keep their homes organized, raise their kids and make sense of daily life. We all feel crazy sometimes and we all fall flat on our face when we try to be perfect.

I thank God for these women who have taught me so much. I thank God that we are forgiven when we fail.

So, as I begin a new life adventure in a little Midwest village where I am the pastor's wife and everyone knows me, but I know no one, I still wonder how I will get everything done around the house. I still spend my days trying to find a balance between chores, schoolwork and fun. I still struggle to get the curriculum and lesson plans just right. I still fail daily. And, again, I am left to wonder how I will find like-minded friends.

But, I don't feel crazy anymore. I sort of feel normal, and I think of my friends who are facing all the same daily challenges and I pray for them. There just haven't been as many things to write about anymore, because my life seems so average. So, when a new friend asked if I had a blog, I said, "Yeah." But, "My blog is lame," and I decided to change the name.

No camera = no pictures

I'm officially living up to my claim to fame as the world's worst photojournalist. I drove 20 hours with 6 kids from Michigan to Florida without a camera. I decided the big, bulky, fancy camera wasn't worth the work of hauling it and the charger for the little 'throw it in my purse and we're good to go' camera was no where to be found.
We're having a great time, but there are so many photo opportunities that I am missing.
Like, the mansion atop the mountains in Tennessee...
the many creepy, crawly things that we've seen in the "jungle yard" that we help to clear out...
the fantastic mini pool (only 1.5 feet deep and perfect for our Littles) at the hotel...
and of course the awesomeness that we will witness at LegoLand tomorrow...

I'll just have to pray that my children make enough memories to make up for Mom's lack of pictures.

Who says: "That's not news!"?

I read this article today HERE, and the writer brings up an important point that is almost an afterthought to the rest of his article, but it is something that has been bothering me for awhile.
He mentions the disparity between topics that get media coverage and those that don't. Sometimes, I am shocked to learn about something that has happened in my area that was completely ignored by local media. Some of these include items that I have written about, taken photos of and submitted to our local newspaper. So, I have to wonder if it's me? Do I just not know what qualifies as news?

Apparently not.

I wrote some articles for the student paper while I attended college. After I revealed that I was the wife of a Seminary student, all of the articles that I was assigned were politically and religiously charged. They were also articles that I could not in good conscience write in a way that would be considered "objective" or "neutral". My bias was bound to shine through, unless I flat-out lied, which I refused to do. I thought, he's just one editor; one liberal, left-leaning editor. I only wrote for the paper for one semester.

Who decides what is newsworthy?

Later, in a Journalism course, we were assigned the task of seeking out real-to-life articles to write. When Allen County held its annual March for Life rally, including speakers Abby Johnson and senator Marlin Stutzman; I thought this is certainly "newsworthy."
 I was wrong. 


Abby Johnson had been the director for Planned Parenthood and shared what she learned during her employment there and how she was affected the first time she actually witnessed an abortion. It is a compelling story; but it's not news.

Senator Marlin Stutzman spoke about his efforts to defund Planned Parenthood in the state of Indiana. It is what his constituents want to hear, but it's not news.

I won't quote my professor exactly, as it's been too long for me to remember it accurately; but, her comment to my article proposal went something like this: A bunch of people walk down the street holding 'baby killer' signs. That's not news!

I attended the rally anyway and I wrote the story anyway. It never got published. But, I knew it wouldn't, because it's not news.

Fire In the Hood

Okay, so maybe I'm not the WORST photojournalist in the world, because I did grab my camera when I saw my neighbors car on fire.

Sure, the first thing to do is call 911, but the police had already arrived and we could hear the fire engines on their way.

Now, I'm not even suggesting that I'm a good photojournalist, only that I might be getting better. See, if I was a really good photojournalist, I would have had the camera with me and gotten pictures that include flames. But, no, I had to run up to the house and get my camera, then run back to the end of the driveway and by then, they guy was spraying the car with his garden hose, and the fire fighters had arrived. We actually watched the activity for several minutes before getting the camera. See, not a good photojournalist, but at least I didn't miss it altogether.

I thought this shot from my front door was pretty good. Fire in the Hood.

The Worst Photojournalist

I would love to be a photojournalist. I would travel the world, taking photographs, meeting and interviewing people, writing their stories. Aaah, if only...

Now, don't think for a minute that having six kids is what stops me. Not at all.

What's stopping me is that I am the worlds worst photojournalist.  AND I don't learn!

Last year, when I was taking photojournalism as a class, I carried my camera everywhere because I was working on assignments. But, then, the one day that I didn't have my camera, I pulled into the parking lot at IPFW, only to see, directly in front of me, a car in the river. Now, that is a photojournalism moment if ever there was. I'd show you a picture to prove it, but, there I sat without a camera.

A year later, I usually have a camera in the car, but I'm still a bad photojournalist.

This morning, barely awake, stumbling in the dark to find the coffee maker, I look out the window and see two baby deer playing together in the street. I grab my camera and try to take a shot through the window. Nope. Then, I try to sneak out the front door - that was totally LOUD. Then, I take another couple of shots. They're terrible. Then, I realize that my camera is still set from yesterdays AIR SHOW. I change the setting and then I tiptoe behind a big tree, hoping to get a closer look.

For a moment, I realized that I was standing in front of the church in my pajamas...

but, it was 6am... no one's looking, right? And, besides, I'm committed to this photojournalism thing.

Anyway, just when I have the settings right, and I've lined up my shot, the battery goes dead. Of course, the spare battery is in the camera bag, back inside the house.

By the time I got back to the house and replaced my battery, I had caused enough of a disturbance for the momma deer to shoo her babies off.

May this photo long be a reality check when I think I could be making my fortune as a photojournalist.

Now, I did manage to get a shot the next day: There must be something really yummy on the road. BTW, the reason I find this so amazing is that we don't live in the country, we live in town, on a city street, with plenty of neighbors.

When cars go by, the don't even move. They just look around.