Running myself to death

I thought this was supposed to be getting easier. It's a like a war going on between my body and my mind. It starts out before I even get out of bed.
M: You need to go run
B: no
M: You must
B: no
M: Move
B: no
M: Get up!
B: no
Then, my mind tries to shame my body into running.
M: Remember those Honey BBQ wings you ate last night? And, that cheeseburger? That is why you have to run. If you don't run, you will be fat and lazy.
Apparently, my body has heard this too many times...
B: Yeah. So?
M: Oh, I give up.
Then, suddenly, my arm throws off the blanket and my body says, Okay, let's go
M: Coffee first?
B: Nope
And, the next thing I know, I'm standing on the sidewalk in front of my house with my running shoes on.
M: Okay, we're doing it. This is good. Love the music. Love the app 
After the first run segment, my body is complaining about the hurt, my lungs are burning because I can't breathe, I think I'm going to throw up blood...
B: This sucks
M: Suck it up, buttercup
I get to the second corner (about 1/4 mile into this 1.5 mile trek) and a man pulls up to the stop sign in his pick up truck. He is cuddling a poodle as he drives. He looks like the guy from Silence of the Lambs, and he yells, "Run faster. You're going to be late." Then, I start to think about my friend who offered this motivation: "Pretend zombies are chasing you."
I imagine Buffalo Bill getting out of his truck and chasing me, and I realize that I would not be able to outrun him, and it's a good thing that my fight or flight instinct is usually fight. I'm thinking about all these things as the voice in my app keeps telling me "Begin walking now." and later "Begin running now"
B: My calves are burning. My shins hurt.
M: We still have a mile to go.
Voice on the app: Begin walking now
Body and Mind: Thank God
This continues until I hear the voice say: Begin cool down
M: Ugh. I'm not even going to make it the same distance as the last time I ran. I'm supposed to be increasing my distance, not decreasing it. 
To my body: You suck!
I turn on my phone and push repeat on my favorite song that just played.
M: I might as well enjoy these last few minutes as I face my failure...
I can see the line where I ended my run on the previous day.
Voice on the app: One minute to go
M: One minute? I can reach that corner in one minute 
Finally, my body complies and I run like I've never run before... chasing down that imaginary line. I pass it and run another ten feet, when the voice says End workout

I walk the rest of the way home and my husband says, "Every time you run, you look younger."
I laugh and say, "Really? Every time I run, I feel days closer to death."

My 5K, This is Too Easy

Day Two of my quest to complete a 5K run. I started out yesterday trying out the Couch to 5K training schedule.  
It didn't go so well.

Today, I tried again. I stayed in my slippers and skipped the running shoes; I mean, who am I kidding? I set the timer for 25 minutes and headed out through the house, shouting out orders as I went.

"Ethan, put away the K'Nex"

"Jacob, get the Lego's out from under the couch"

"Tyler, sweep the floor."

After the first five minutes, I had a little parade of giggling followers. They thought it was a game, like follow the leader. I kept marching and jogging (I'm really glad we live in a huge old house with large rooms and plenty of room to run around). As I came to a toy or piece of clothing or trash, I sent one of my little copy cats off on a mission to put it away.

Then, I turned on some music. I bought this CD set called "CardioBoost". It has three CD's. It's filled with "pumped-up hits". It was perfect. It energized everyone and by the time the 25 minute timer went off, I felt like I could keep going (although I was sweaty and my legs were hurting), and the playroom was clean too.

It was great. I think it's an awesome way to start the day.

But, it was too easy, I think. I'm pretty sure I won't be able to fool my children into cleaning up like this every day. But, I plan to try it again.

My 5K, Day One

I accepted an invitation to participate in a 5K run. I can't quite figure out why I said yes. I think I must have had a moment of delusion. There is a reason this blog is called One Crazy Lady - sometimes I do things that just can not be explained by any rational person.

So, here I am. I've committed. Now, I have until June 8th to prepare myself or quit.

There is this voice in my head (I'm pretty sure my mother put it there) telling me "You said you would, so now you have to." So, now I have to.

I tried to run track in high school. I was bad at it. I've never really had the speed or the endurance to be a racer. But, this isn't a race, it's just a run... speed is not important, endurance is. All I have to do is make it to the end. Technically, I could "walk" it, but, really?

I can do this. At least, I think I can.

I thought I would start with this training plan from the Couch 2 5K program. http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml

Day One says: Brisk five-minute warmup walk. Then alternate 60 seconds of jogging and 90 seconds of walking for a total of 20 minutes.

I changed out of a skirt and into comfy pants, put on socks and dug my Reeboks out of the back of the closet. I set up a track in my house with chair placement to give me a figure eight to walk. I completed the five minute walk with no problems, although five minutes is a long time when you are just walking in circles. AND, all I kept thinking about was how much I needed to vacuum the floor.

I got a drink of water and started the timer for twenty minutes. Four minutes in, the phone rang. My daughter needed directions, so then I was online looking them up for her. When I got off the phone, I went back to the kitchen and found out that I hadn't actually paused the timer and it had run out.

So, then, instead of starting over, I decided to vacuum the floor. Now, I'm looking for the step by step plan that gradually gets me to Day One of the C25K program.