Folks… We Have a Cheeseburger

I cannot think of any time that it would be acceptable to stick a camera between a child’s legs and take a picture… but, apparently, it’s all the rage with the ultrasound technicians. Everybody wants to know if it looks like a cheeseburger or a turtle.

One of the fun things that you get to do when you plan a hospital birth rather than a home birth (trying to look at all the positives here) is an ultrasound. In fact, it's so much fun, that you should invite everyone.

By everyone, I mean, like your husband and a few of the kids...

and a couple more

well, I would say just bring them all. They won't mind sitting in the waiting room with  you for an hour, well they won't mind much, and it will be worth it when they get to see their new sibling up on that screen.

Of course, the kids will be the ones demanding to know the gender, especially if they're already outnumbered 4 to 2. This is one of the last pictures that the technician will take, and if you don’t want to know, then they promise to keep it a secret. 

Mom just wants to know that baby is healthy and growing and that all the parts are there. 

Watch the heart beating.

See the tiny feet.

Look at that sweet face. 

It looks just like the other six.

Oh, darling, sweet baby, now that I’ve seen you, I long to hold you. I didn’t need to have an ultrasound. In fact, with my last two pregnancies, we didn’t have one at all. But, things are different when you have hospital policy to work with.

“You can refuse” people tell me, but I just don’t know how to say no. I do what the doctor tells me to. So, I spent 24 hours without carbs, drank 32 oz of water so someone could push a camera against my full bladder, ate 2 bags of nastily sweet jelly beans so a tech could stick a needle in my arm and test my blood for every STD known to man even though I’ve been tested 4 times in 17 years and I’m still married to the same man, and I filled a cup with urine for some other test that I’m not quite sure of.

But, when it was all over, my children had the joy of seeing their new sibling, hearing the baby’s heartbeat and experiencing it together. We had pictures to take home and share and now, our oldest daughter knows just what color clothes to shop for. 

"If it looks like a turtle it’s a boy, and if it looks like a cheeseburger that means it’s a girl," the technician told us, and when she pointed the camera between our baby’s legs, we definitely saw a cheeseburger. 

She even took an up close shot, printed it out and drew an arrow to it with the word "FEMALE" on it. 

That was probably because our 9yo son kept saying, "But, it could still be a boy, right?" 

If you have no children...

If you have no children... you are missing one of the loveliest things life has to offer.

This was my exact thought today as we waded through the puddles in the pouring rain (the effects of Hurricane Isaac on Orlando) at Disney's Animal Kingdom. The rain didn't stop us from having fun, although I did learn that no matter how frugal I think I am, I will pay $65 for plastic ponchos with Mickey Mouse on the back.

Jacob (age 6) was splashing along with the plastic hood down over his eyes and he wasn't looking where he was going. There was hardly anyone in the park, so this wasn't really an issue, until he drifted into oncoming traffic and crashed into a lady. He barely noticed and just kept on splashing.

I was about 10 feet behind him, walking alongside Noah (age 3) who was doing the same thing. I started to say "sorry about that", but then she looked back at Jacob, then at her boyfriend and said,

"SERIOUSLY!?!"

I didn't say a word. I just smiled and thought, "You don't have any children, do you?"

Then, I thought, "...and you don't remember being five..."

Then, I just watched little boy shoes jump from puddle to puddle without a care in the world.

They weren't concerned about hurricanes, or the cost of park tickets (or ponchos). They just loved the sound and feel of their feet hitting the endless puddles of water upon the ground.

I didn't take a picture, but, that's because I do let myself get concerned with the cost of things like cameras that won't survive a downpour. I just enjoyed those little boys, and for a moment I forgot about the yucky feeling of the wet plastic stuck to my body.

Then, I thought, "If you have no children... you are missing one of the loveliest things life has to offer."

Disney Day One: The Journey to the Magic

Yes, all of my children are piled into the car.

2 adults, 6 kids, one minivan, one mission.

Last May, I drove all the kids to Florida to visit LegoLand with Gramma. But, this trip, Daddy did some research and found us a great deal on plane tickets... so, flying and driving were about the same price. This time, we're only driving as far as the airport. The kids are very happy about this.

Driving took us about 19 hours or two full days of driving. Flying really only saves one day of travel since we had to arrive at the airport 2 hours prior to departure. Lots of sitting and waiting.

Luckily, everyone had plenty to do...

while we waiting anxiously for our plane to arrive.

This is Noah's first trip to WDW, and as soon as we got off the airplane, he found Mickey.

Then, we waited for our luggage...

then, we waited for the Disney bus to our hotel...

When we finally got to our room, we could hardly sleep as we waited some more for morning to come so we could get to a park.

No prenatal care until 27 weeks

The first appointment. 

It was as good as I could have hoped for while still being completely dreadful.  

I waited until 27 weeks to have my first OB visit, simply because I didn’t want to go to an OB at all. 

I’ve had 4 hospital births and 2 home births… the difference is so vast that I, a writer at heart and by trade, cannot even begin to put into words how it feels to return to a hospital experience now.

Michelle is a midwife, licensed in the state of Indiana, but only to perform hospital births under the supervision of an OB/GYN. She is as nice a girl as I could have hoped for. She even looked at my history and said that women who’ve had home births don’t usually return to the hospital. She asked me if anything had gone wrong. Then, she asked me if I was sure that I wanted to be there.

That’s when I lost it. All the tears that I had shed in the 45 minute drive to her office had not depleted my supply.

 “No, I don’t want to be here. I cried the whole way” I admitted as my tears began to flow again. I was scared. I am scared.

I don’t want to repeat the hospital births that I had. 

They weren’t terrible, in fact, I would have to say that they were completely normal as far as hospital births go… but, I don’t ever want to do it again.

She promised to do her best to give me the most comfortable experience possible, while still following hospital policies of course. So, here I am. Terrified of my future, but praying for the best.

Backtalk... A Book Review

Do your children treat you or each other with disrespect? Do you wonder what to do when it isn't what they say, but how they say it that bothers you? The authors of this book promise to fix your problem in four easy steps.

Backtalk written by Audrey Ricker, Ph.D. and Carolyn Crowder, Ph.D. based on the psychological theories of Alfred Adler.

The book begins with this general premise. "When children are allowed to get away with backtalk, they don't learn to have respect for others" (11) "...a child who gets away with it at home will undoubtedly try backtalking outside the home, losing respect of friends, friends parents, teachers, and, later employers." (13) So, by putting an end to the backtalk at home, we are preparing our child for a more successful life in adulthood. We are protecting them from devastation that comes from struggling to make friends, develop relationships and stay employed.

Backtalk is more than just disagreement, but includes the blatant lack of respect that can be seen and felt in the words, tone and gestures that we use in communication. Ricker and Crowder provide four steps: Recognize [the backtalk], Choose [a consequence], Enact [the consequence], Disengage [yourself from the situation].

Overall, the book is an easy read, with witty and humorous banter on the possible results of your first attempts at using their 4-step method. "You then ignore the screams from Carl's room, plus sounds of banging and objects hitting walls. (The sound of glass breaking and the smell of smoke can be attended to, however.)" (66)

While I certainly support Adler's theory of logical consequences in theory, there is a problem with implementation in reality. The simple issue is that children are likely to backtalk more often than the number of things that can be logically taken away from them. For example, Ricker and Crowder suggest a teen who backtalks should be answered with a response such as your disrespect has depleted my energy and now I'm too exhausted to drive you to the mall, your friends house, or whatever other activity they are expecting you to take them too that day.

In theory, that sounds like a great idea, but what if your teenager is backtalking on a day that you had no intention of taking her anywhere? I don't generally run my kids to the mall or to an outside activity every day. In fact, I hardly ever run them around. So, how do I find consequences that are immediate and logical?

Ricker and Crowder provide one example of a dad who can't think of anything to take away from his children. The problem, they claim, is that he is too self-absorbed and focused on his own life and doesn't pay attention to them. The solution that they propose? Dad needs to plan more activities for his children; take them on ski trips and other adventures so that they would be motivated to behave so they wouldn't miss out on the fun.

They claim a successful program is found in families where "...the parents provide so much for the children - so much attention, so many services, such as driving, and so much support for the children's activities - that potential consequences abound." (109) I find this somewhat insulting, to me and to my children. I don't think that they need me to provide endless services just so that I have more options for things to take away. We tend to be more of the mindset that our children learn to be independent adults by fending for themselves. Doing their own laundry, washing their own dishes and arranging their own transportation to their social activities is part of learning to be a grown-up.

Besides, even if I was willing to overload my schedule with children's activities and spend all my days running them around and providing services for them... what do I do with the kid who would rather stay home and read books all day? Should I use reverse psychology and say, If you talk back, I'll make you sign up for soccer?

Overall, Backtalk provides some good concepts and makes some relevant points, but I think that the authors  might need a little more practical parenting experience to add to their academic credentials before developing the next edition.

Today is NOT our first day of school

It's the time of year for 'school shopping' and gearing up for the first day. For many children, today is that first day; some started last week and others will wait until after Labor Day; but, across the nation the words keep getting repeated "Today is the first day of school."
As others gear up to get started, our family is gearing up to take some time off.

We don't ever have a first day of school because we learn all year, all day, every day. Our investment in our children's education never takes a day off. It is an ongoing journey.

We do have some structured academics, and we work on those every day except Sundays. We don't rush through materials in hopes of finishing or covering it all in 180 days. Instead, we work until we've mastered it and then we go on. We don't have to finish by an arbitrary date; sometimes we're earlier or later than expected, but we get it done on our own time.

This allows us the flexibility to take vacations when others can't. And, it provides us with opportunities to turn those special vacation memories into teachable moments too. It's what inspired us to write the Vacation Education series in the first place, and keeps us returning to those lessons and the parks that inspired them time and again.

I do try to keep a general schedule of grades as the kids are often asked, "What grade are you in?" and they usually look to me for an answer and I'm left flustered trying to come up with an answer.

Just this morning, we were discussing what "grade" Jacob should be in - he's five, turning six, so is he kindergarten or 1st grade? I had to choose. We've been working out of first grade math and science books all summer long, and he'll be six before Labor Day, so I went with 1st grade. I guess I could say that today is his first day of First Grade, but that wouldn't change anything that we do all day, so what would be the point?

It's still the morning of this 'first day', but if I had sent them off to school, I already would have missed the following.

Tyler(age 11, grade 6): Mom, you know how people use abbreviations in texting and online games?
Me: Yes
Tyler: Like, LOL means laugh out loud and YLDTL means Yes, let's do that later?
Me: Okay, sure.
Tyler: What does IDK stand for?
Me: I don't know
Tyler ( in an exaggerated voice): NO ONE DOES!

A few seconds later he said: LOL

And, later Jacob (age 5, almost 6, grade 1) after listening to a book about constellations and planets, informed me of this: "God is the most powerful that there ever was and He is so powerful that He can send bad guys to Plupiter."
Me: Plupiter?
Jacob: Yes, that's a world far away from here.

27 week pregnancy picture

I thought I would never do this. I've seen oodles of pregnancy photos posted online. Some of my friends even post a new picture every week, creating an album showing the progression of their growing belly. They are usually first time moms. It's the sort of thing that I probably would have done when I was a first time mom, if I had thought of it. Certainly, if there had been a Facebook community to share it with, I'd have been much more likely to do it.

But, now, I'm nearly 40. This is my 7th baby. I'm already overweight, so there isn't such a distinct "bump" to document and it all seems sort of silly to me.

All of that said, I did see an opportunity today to take a shot to commemorate this child's growth in our family. We measured everyone else to see how tall they've gotten, why not measure this baby too? While the kids were playing at the local Science Center, I stepped into the phosphorescence booth to "capture" my shadow.

So, without further ado, here it is. My first pregnancy photo.

My Funny Family

I often struggle to think of things to blog about, but today my family provided me with so much material that I'm a bit overwhelmed.

First, my five year old spent most of the morning wearing a black witch's hat from the costume box... and nothing else. I could give you a whole list of reasons why that family member is not pictured here, but I'll just let you use your imagination.

Then, my husband went to Goodwill and bought this shirt.

There are so many things that I could say, but it really speaks for itself. I suggested that he wear it every day. He let me take this picture and then he changed out of it. He totally bought this for my benefit.

Then, my daughter showed up in this shirt.

You hamburger cows? I asked.
Yes. Eating the cow is kinder than being a vegetarian and eating all the cows food.

Again, so many things I can say, but I'll just let that one speak for itself too.

Then, this child who has not had a hair cut of any more than a trim in years...

Asked me to cut off all of her hair...
                               and make her look like this?

So, I did...

And, now she looks like this...

She feels adorable and it's really cute on her. I'll miss her long hair...
Now, both my girls have short, short hair, so it will be years before I get to do a french braid or princess knot... but, I suppose it's a sign they are growing up.

Men, Messes and Roofing

Our move was initially delayed due to storm damage, but now we have been here for over a month. Each day, I tackle a new project... it might be catching up the laundry, unpacking a stack of boxes or really getting that bathroom clean - I mean like sterile, I might deliver my baby in here clean, but I'm not nesting yet and that's not what this post is about.

I've looked out my bedroom window every day since we've been here and lusted after my neighbor's immaculate yard. Ours is filled with large logs, tree limbs, busted siding, boards filled with nails and other miscellaneous trash. It's depressing.

Today, I watched a group of four or five men change all that, well, almost all that.

They worked quickly and quietly, each knowing what to do next. In under 8 hours, they had stripped the damaged area of the garage, reframed the entire corner, cleared the roof and reshingled it.

I'm praying that they will be back tomorrow to finish up the siding, clean up the mess and we will finally have a garage to store our outdoor toys.
We were so inspired by the efficiency of their work, that after they left, we went out and cleaned off the patio.

It's been hard to be patient as we've waited for the work to begin, but their progress today gave me hope. We are so excited to actually have a back yard to play in soon!

My Sons, The Heroes

I have one son who always wants to be the hero. In fact, he believes all men should be heroes. When I took him aside to explain to him that he shouldn't fight with his brothers; he explained, "I'm not fighting with them, Mom, I'm training them."

He's five.

He has two older brothers who have less desire to be heroes. In fact, they would gladly hide behind mother's apron strings in the face of danger.

But, these boys all proved their bravery this week when they found a mouse in the basement. First, they ran back up the stairs to tell me that "there's a RAT in the basement"

I said, "Oh! Well, go catch it and kill it"

They looked at me and then at each other, in disbelief. They made a few protests, like "It might bite us" or "It's scary"

I admit, I knew there was  a mouse in the basement and I was staying far away.

But, I told them, this is what you must do, catch it and kill it.

Ten minutes later, I had the proudest young men I've ever seen standing before me. They worked together, created a makeshift trap, chased the mouse into it and brought it upstairs in a plastic bag. I sent them straight out to the alley trash with their prize.

My sons... heroes.