Family Communication Unit 4 Pigeon-holing

I didn't like this unit. Too many labels.
Nothing in life is so simple, and certainly humans are not such simple creatures as to fit into just one style of conflict. With that said, here is my attempt to pigeon-hole my family of analysis.

Part One: Power Bases: In this family, there is one person who "acts helpless". This is a "personal resource" that he uses to manipulate others. He commonly uses phrases such as, "I can't see it" or "I don't get it"
This tactic has proven successful in the past, as another family member will often become frustrated and respond with "Nevermind, I'll do it."
Generally, this behavior and this response is discouraged; but it is a habit that has formed and is hard for either one to break.
I would say that it can not be successful for long, as it requires another person to provide the correct response. If no one in this person's life is willing to step in and take over the task, or let him out of it in some other way, then I believe he would soon find it unsuccessful.

Part Two: Labels
McMaster Model of Family Functioning: How does your family provide for:
1. adult sexual fulfillment and gender modeling for children? This family has a male/female leadership, in a heterosexual marriage.
2. nurturing and emotional support? "through advice, directives and answers to questions..." (155)
3. individual development? rotating chore charts; independent research into areas of interest; apprenticeship opportunities; various extracurricular activities
4. kinship maintenance and family management? holiday traditions; vacations with family, frequent visits; blogging, email, Facebook, telephone and letters.
5. basic resources: "Traditionally, men were expected to be the major financial providers in families..." (160) Our family follows this pattern, although Mom sometimes does freelance work from home.

Fitzpatrick's Couple Types: Traditional
Gottman's Conflict Types: Validating
Kantor & Lehr's Family Types: Closed Family


REFLECTION QUESTION: Reflection Question: Take a look at your classmate's webpages and find one that discusses the use of power bases in a way that is different from your own family. Would the use of this power base work in your family?  Why or why not? 
I chose Kayla's answer:
One of my family members uses cognitive resources.  She is almost 18 years old and gets exactly what she wants, when she wants it almost always.  This person still throws temper tantrums when she doesn't get what she wants whether it's money, food, going to a friends, seeing her boyfriend, etc.  Since her family is divorced, if mom says no she will go to dad and ask him.  Either way, she is usually always satisfied with the results of her actions.  

The temper tantrums would work in my family, because the sound of a whiny child makes me want to do just about anything to make it stop. However, after 6 children, I have learned that giving in doesn't make it stop, it only makes it more frequent. While my children still do whine sometimes, they have found that it serves to get them taken home if we're out, sent to their rooms if we're home or even gets their plate taken away if they are whining about their food. This is not usually the effect they are hoping for.