The Business of Baby book review

I'm reading a lot these days. Mostly because I'm making it a priority in our home. Some books are easier to read than others. I could read "There Was An Old Lady Who Swallowed A Fly" over and over again.

But, The Business of Baby by Jennifer Margulis has taken me a long time to finish - almost 9 weeks. In fact, I've read several other books in the mean time, as I gradually try to take in all that Margulis offers in this text.

It's not overly academic or difficult to understand, and it's not boring - actually, the journalist in me loves to read the stories of other moms, and this book is filled with them. Margulis has extensively interviewed parents, doctors and various experts for her book.

My difficulty is the book often sends me to my room in tears... So much of what these mothers tell has been my own experience. As mothers, we often isolate ourselves. Even if we work outside the home, we don't bring our concerns to other experienced moms for advice and we don't offer our experience to new moms we meet. Perhaps we are afraid that we will come across as ignorant if we don't know enough or judgmental if we appear to know too much or have strong opinions. Either way, it's rooted in fear.

The Business of Baby is summed up in this paragraph found in Chapter 11, "Yet we [the United States] have one of the highest maternal mortality rates in the industrialized world, we offer medically unnecessary 4-D ultrasounds at the mall, we wash our newborns with baby soap that off-gases formaldehyde, we vaccinate at birth against a sexually transmitted disease, we aggressively advertise products that undermine breastfeeding to pregnant women, let corporations give bleary-eyed new moms breastfeeding and potty training advice, and we put starch, food coloring, sugar, and unhealthy additives into food products for babies. We continue these practices despite the science, best evidence, and common sense that show us they are harmful."

Whether or not I (or you) agree with all of her points, the vast expanse of trust that we as parents put into so called experts without regard for their intent or motives, while at the same time, disregarding the wisdom of women who successfully navigated parenting before us, is frightening.

It should be more frightening than the fear we feel about turning to one another for advice and guidance.

As our family makes a new home in a new town, I love to hear the stories of my neighbors. I want to learn from those who've been here all along - why would I feel any differently about learning from those who've been moms for longer than I have?

I long for the camaraderie that comes from hours of conversation over coffee while children play nearby. It will come, one playdate at a time. For now, I hear the voices of other moms and their struggles as I finish the last few pages of  The Business of Baby.