When the book is finished, success is bittersweet

Today is the last day of NaNoWriMo and I could be scrambling to find another 3,000 words to write into my story, but I'm not.

In one way, that means I have failed. I've failed to meet the challenge to write 50,000 words in 30 days. Now, if you add in my blog posts, well, then I would be way over the word count. But, my story doesn't have 50K words, so technically I've failed.

I'm competitive. I'm persistent. I'm stubborn.

But, I'm done now.

Why?

Because the story is finished. I've reached the end. Agatha has reached her resolution, the only one available to her, so what else is there to write?

I printed out the 99 pages yesterday and thought I might try to read through it today and try to figure out a way to squeeze another 3,000 words in. But, it wouldn't make the story better, it would just be for pride.

And yet, really I don't feel like I've failed, because I've accomplished the real goal, and that was to get this story written down. It's been bouncing around in my head for several years, begging to be told.

I am relieved to be rid of it.

I am delighted with how it turned out.

But, now I have this strange feeling that something is missing from my life. This project that has consumed me for the last thirty days is now over.

I'll spend more time with my family, of course and I'll catch up on some chores, but I'm already thinking about the next story.

Because, for me the stories never end.

The story's climax, a writer's dilemma

It's coming into the final countdown for me and my fellow WriMo's.

Just three days left...

I'm staying up late to chase the clock and I've just topped 40K

I'm coffee'd up, exhilarated and speed typing.... ZOOM!!!

But, oh, poor Agatha. She just can't seem to get it together.

Guilt and shame are nasty bedfellows and they are weighing her down.

They speak to her in her weakest moments.

They lead her astray...

Sometimes, oh, many times, I've wanted to save her. I've been so tempted to have compassion on the poor girl and just give her happiness. But, happiness doesn't come that easily in this sinful world, and it's not fair to pretend it does just because I want it to be that way.

Agatha has to overcome (or not) all on her own. It's her story and it has to be her ending.

This is when I am most glad that I have a strong outline and sketch before I begin. Because it is now in this home stretch that I am most tempted to lie to my readers, to say it will all be hunky-dorey for Agatha, but once you've been with her this far into the story, you know that there really is nothing in Agatha's life that is, ever has been or ever will be hunky-dorey.

Like all of us, Agatha has a few things to cling to for hope, and at this point we have to follow Agatha to her ending, because we know that all hope is not yet lost for her, and we want to be with her when she overcomes (or be there for her if she doesn't).

Either way, this is it.

The end is near.

Fart is Air AKA Life with boys

Some days I think I could write a whole separate blog about life with boys... they do things my girls would NEVER do. Like the time they giggled all the way to play practice in the back seat, because they had discovered a new smell coming from the older boys armpits.

Today, for example, while I was teaching the 11 y.o. how to make spaghetti, the 4 y.o. stood in front of my 1y.o. daughter's high chair, sharing goldfish crackers and tantalizing conversation.

Soon, I heard his little voice explaining vital biology.

It went something like this:

"I have a butt crack, you have a butt crack..." at which point, I said...

"That's not nice talk." And, he said...

"But, everyone has a butt crack." At this point, I decided to let it go, and he happily moved on to less bathroom oriented conversation.

In an entirely different conversation, immediately after this, my 7 y.o. came in and asked to help with lunch. I said he could stir the fruit salad.

Boy: "Why are there bubbles?"

Mom: "When you stir, it makes air bubbles?"

Boy: "Oh. Fart is Air!"

Mom: "Um."

Boy: "When I fart in the bathtub, it makes bubbles. So, fart is air."

Mom: "Well, yes, it is air from your intestines."

Boy: (yelling very excitedly to 11 y.o.) "Hey, Ethan! FART IS AIR!!"

Mom quietly stirs spaghetti sauce and ponders the conversations that will occur in the next few decades of life with boys.

Why I Care Where You Go To Church

I like people. I mean genuinely like them, and encourage my children to interact, greet and engage in friendly conversation with all people.

But, when one of my children expresses delight in a new found friend, my first question is usually "Where do you go to church?"

My oldest finds this annoying. So, I tried to explain to her why it matters.

I care about the people who will be my children's friends and loved ones. I care about their earthly life and their salvation. But, even more so, I care about how they will walk alongside my child.

If you don't go to church at all, then I have to wonder where you will learn forgiveness? I mean the kind of forgiveness that can overcome all misunderstandings, and erase all sins. The kind of forgiveness that keeps a marriage or a friendship together until death. The forgiveness that can only come from Christ Jesus that not only forgives the transgression but remembers it no more.

If you don't know that forgiveness, then how will your relationship with your friend, my child, manage when one of you sins against the other? It will happen. I want to know what you will do about it.

If you do go to church, I want to know where. Did you know there are now atheist churches? The word church doesn't mean what it used to and I want to know what it means to you, my child's friend.

Who do you think God is?
Who do you think Jesus is?

I want to know when my children are in trouble, and their father and I cannot be there, who will walk beside them. What kind of advice will you give? Will you pray with my child in times of need? Who will you be praying to?
Will you read and study and cherish God's Word and encourage your friend, my child, to do the same?

I want to know.

If you go to a church that is nominally Christian, but practices irreverence, will you have enough respect for God to seek out His Word and follow it? Or will you encourage your friend, my child to disrespect God, family and the traditions we hold dear?

My children love people, and they will be listening to what you say, and they will be watching what you do. When you become friends with my child, I'm going to ask you "Where do you go to church?"

The Middle of the Story (NaNoWriMo 2013)

I promised that I would give some "teasers" about this year's NaNoWriMo...

First, let me say that I am super excited about my technique this year. As I've mentioned before, the first year I just wrote every day until I'd pounded out one thousand six hundred sixty seven words and went wherever the story took me. It was a haphazard mess.

The second year, I started with a story concept and got mixed up every time there was a distraction, so it sort of went flat at the end.

This year, I spent the month of October developing my story from beginning to end and creating a fairly detailed outline. So, since November 1st, this journey has been one of simply telling the story. I already know what is going to happen, in fact, in my mind it is like the events have already happened and now I am just relating them to my readers.

The story is better, makes more sense and the words come faster. I don't have to stop and try to remember who's who because it's in my notes...

So, with that said, and I do feel like I can't say enough about this as a creative writing method... where is the story now?

As I approach the 20K word mark, I really feel for Agatha. As soon as she works her way out of one abusive relationship, she finds herself plunged into another. The struggles in her life are intense and tragic, but she is strong and she keeps fighting back.
She has just given birth to her second child and things seem to be working out in her favor as she is working, earning her own way, and learning to save money. She is still young and there is a lot she doesn't know, but she is learning to grieve for her losses and make better decisions.
It seems at this point, that she has the highest hopes of anywhere in the story and all are cheering her on toward a happy ending.

But, it's only 20K words.
And, if you know anything about a story, you know that if it seems too good to be true, then it probably is.

It's like that point in a movie when you think everything is working out and you think the hero has solved the problem and overcome the villain, only to realize that there is still an hour left in the movie and so the story can't be over.

That's where we are with Agatha. It's too early in the book for things to be this good...

Even Mom Can't Read This Math Book

Awhile back someone asked me what the difference is between a Christian textbook and a secular textbook. "I mean how do you make Math Christian?"

Isn't the standard the same? Especially with Common Core, everyone should be learning the same thing, right?

People seem to recognize that Science would be different if provided by a Christian publisher since it would emphasize Creation and teach the Theory of Evolution, whereas a secular Science text would ignore or disregard Creation altogether and teach Evolution as fact. People generally seem to understand why we would purchase Christian Science materials and not be happy to use the same materials as the public school system.

But, with Math? Why does it matter if the publisher is Christian?

Well, the biggest difference that I've noticed is that Christian publishers tend to have problems such as this:
"The Matthews family gives a tithe of $200 every month to the church. They also give $50 to missionaries and $25 to help a young man go to a Christian college. What is the total amount of their gifts?"
(BJUP, Math 5)

Pretty straight forward question. It certainly includes a Christian bent, but it is also easy to read and understand.

This year we are using secular math materials with our older children (Grade 5 and up). I'm using Spectrum, which advertises right on the front of their workbooks "meets common core standards".

Last week, my fifth grader came to me with a math question he could not understand. Generally, this child is excellent at math, and works independently. So, when he didn't understand the question, I was concerned.

It started out like this, "Danielle, Tamequa, ..." He was stuck on this second word. It wasn't like any he'd ever seen before.
The sentence continued, "Danielle, Tamequa, Rashawn, and Joaquin are in Mrs. Thompson's fifth-grade class." By Joaquin, my boy was completely confused.

I tried to explain that these are children's names, even though we've never heard them before. Then, he asked me the question that knocked my argument out of the water.
"If these are names, how do you pronounce them?" Out of respect for the parents who choose these names, I didn't even try.

I understand being politically correct, and I understand wanting to include all sorts of people groups in the representation of story problems. What I don't understand how they expect the average fifth grader to read this.

Go ahead and use hard to pronounce and phonetically awkward but unique and interesting names in literature, but isn't the mixture of numbers, letters and symbols in Algebra confusing enough without giving the poor kid story problems he can't even read.

The House on Amber Road, Day One, 201 Questions

It's the first day of NaNoWriMO and I am pumped!

This year is the most exciting year yet as I venture to write a novel that I've actually planned.

The first year, I wrote by the seat of my pants, just sort of making things up as I went along. That method caused me to constantly back track into the story to make sure I wasn't saying something that contradicted something I'd said earlier or having characters do things that didn't make any sense based on their back story. It was very unorganized and sort of haphazard - HAH - Sort of how I write my blog.

The second year, I had a general plot line in my head, but not well planned out enough because it got totally derailed when I went into labor.

This year, I've been sketching ideas, taking notes, and drawing character sketches for awhile now. If you are wondering if that is cheating, it's not. These are all well within the NaNoWriMo Rules.

But, I sat down this evening to write and all I had to do was lay out my notes and look at the first item in my outline and then write out that portion of the story. Easy-peasy! Well, at least way easier than the last two years.

So, where are we at the end of day one?
Well, Agatha Briggs has been asked by her teenage daughter to answer 201 questions about herself. Events in Agatha's current life collide with the memories that are triggered by these questions. Agatha struggles to complete the task in time for her daughter's English assignment. Some of the questions are hard to answer, not because she can't remember, but because the memories are painful and she doesn't want to share this pain with her daughter. She must choose her words very carefully.

That's one Bad Kat

It is November 1st and NaNoWriMo has officially begun at our house. We didn't stay up and start at midnight, although I was tempted to. But, we went to chapel, completed our morning chores, finished our math and history, and then warmed up leftover lasagna for lunch and we are getting started on our family Novel Writing project.

I am using a text called Written & Illustrated by...

The first step is to create a publishing company. Now, this is easier than you might think because children are good at brainstorming.

However, it is also quite difficult for the following reasons:

1. Boys like to come up with names that are offensive. One suggestion for our publishing company was "Books of Poop" I used my ultimate authority to rule that one out even though it got a majority vote.

2. Many names that seem like a good idea, like "Johnson Publishing House" from our last name, are already taken. We did not want to misrepresent ourselves by using the name of an already existing publishing company.

3. Getting five kids to agree on a name unanimously is just plain challenging.

But, it's just past noon and we have done it... We have named our publishing company.
So, may I present.... (drumroll please) the publishing company created by the Johnson family for the sole purpose of publishing our own written and illustrated creations...

Bad Kat Publishing Co.