Reflecting the Family Definition

I had to choose a definition for the word "family." I chose this

"...small, kinship structured group whose primary function is the nurturing socialization of newborn children." (p.4)  
For a more in depth discussion, see Defining Family

Here, I need to reflect on the definitions chosen by my classmates. I've noticed an underlying theme in the definitions offered:

"Family are those that we can go to in our time of need, when we need a friend, when we need a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen. "


"A close group of people who are loyal to each other, and will be there for each other emotionally and physically regardless of the circumstance. "


"anybody you can completely rely on and anybody that will go to bat for you when it's needed. I also believe it's some one who has nothing but good intentions for you and will offer that advice.You should be able to be to tell family anything thats on your mind including good and bad and know that you won't get judged as well."
Seth


Here is the question(s) that I've been assigned to answer. 
Look at a definition of family that one of your classmates has written. What is your response to it? How is it similar or different from your own definition? What is your reaction and why?

I have to choose one, so I chose Seth's mostly because it was the most in depth definition given along this same theme.

I think it's nice that they have grown up in families that are "there" for each other and who only have "good intentions" and don't "judge".

But, is that what makes a family?

What about the addict in the family? He's never there for any of us, his intentions are only to get the next fix and we DO judge him. Is he not family?

What about the absent father? He's not there for his kids, we don't know his intentions because he's never around and we DO judge him. Is he not family?

I clean my house before my family visits and YES, I do it because I believe they will judge me. They are still my family.

I still argue that we become family through our offspring. Until I had children of my own, my family was made up of the people who were part of my upbringing and I was the offspring. Both my mother's relations and my father's relations came together and were connected in no other way except that they shared a grandchild. This made them family.

Families are not always there for each other - even if we might like to be.

Families do not always listen - ask any teenager if their parents always listened - most will say no.

Families are not made up of people who don't judge each other - we know the intimate details of each other's lives and we tell each other ALL the time how we think they should have had more/less children; should have gotten married sooner/later; should have gone to/quit college; should have, should have, should have...

Even those friends, the ones we call "family" because we love them so much that we wish they were our family... even they are judging us and they are not always there for us... We compare our children's development, our clothing choices, our grocery budgets, our husband's careers, our own career choices... We compare everything!

I think these definitions are sweet, but naive. They are the in a perfect world, family would be like this definitions. I simply think they are inaccurate.