It's that time of year again... when I start to think about moving. It's November, and we won't move until July, but I wonder how many other wives have allowed the glimmer of thought on this matter to permeate their mind.
You see, we are on vicarage, but I don't feel like we've really left the Seminary. I drove down for the wives retreat last month, I still chat with the same friends on Facebook, and I still get notifications from the SWA page and I still get all the issues of the student newsletter. I'm still taking classes at IPFW, albeit online only... but, so many things are still the same.
If you are a first year wife, unless you happened to rent from a family on vicarage and have to move at the end of this year, you are probably not thinking about moving just yet. In fact, you are probably just starting to feel settled in. For me, it's just about the time that settled in feeling comes along, that the thoughts of moving start to enter my mind.
I look around the house and it's ALL unpacked. Everything we own, out there for me to see. It makes me start to think about all the work of packing and moving it. Then, I think, it's such a big job... I better get started right away. I also start to dread Christmas, and the five birthdays that will happen in our house between now and the move. I just don't know how we could possibly find room for any more stuff.
Then, I think about how we have to do it all again, the year after next. I know that we could be happy with much less stuff. I clean out rooms, I sort through boxes, I organize shelves. Things get messy. But, as the weather gets colder and I spend more time indoors, the house becomes my haven and the process of organizing becomes my mission. It will never be as clean or as organized as I imagine it could be, and we will always have more stuff than we need, but as I get older and have the age and experience to look back on my life, I can see that this is a season for me.
This time of year, it happens to me whether we are preparing for a move or not. When the leaves are changing and the wind is blowing against the windows, I find I enjoy being in a home that is at least sort of organized and sort of clean - even if it only happens in one room at a time. Every year, as the leaves die and are purged from the trees, making way for the new life that will blossom there; I purge the dirt and the dust and the clothes that don't fit and the toys that have broken and the books we've all read. Every year, I purge the old to make room for the new gifts that will enter our home.
As I do this, I think about how God purges the earth with each passing season. I pray that he would purge my heart of the sin of pride that comes from thinking I can have a perfect home. I pray that he would purge my heart of the sin of anger that comes from seeing the imperfections in myself and others. I pray that He would renew my mind and my heart with fresh, beautiful life giving thoughts and words.
This year, like every year, I will clean more, I will purge more, I will read more and I will pray more. But, I will also tolerate and accept the mess more and when there is peace and order in my home, I vow to enjoy it more.
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