Fiction Sample Ash Loanwright prompt

 I'm taking a writing class and thought I would share some samples from my class assignments. This prompt was to let the reader know what kind of person Ash Loanwright is without telling you what kind of person he is. Here's my 400-ish words...

“Hold on, little brother,” Ash Loanwright said as he grabbed Ben’s hand.

He watched the boy’s chest rise and fall in heavy gasps. His grey uniform was soaked in blood, and nothing Ash had done had slowed its flow. He knew it was too late for holding on, but he didn’t know what else to say. Ben’s eyes were opened wide and blood was coming from his mouth. Ash wished he could turn back time.

“I think we should take the girls up to Uncle Bob’s in Ohio,” Ben had said.

“Fine. Fine. Take the women and children. Then, you come right back here and defend this farm.”

Ash had insisted that his brother stand strong against the northern oppression, demanded as the oldest brother that they had to defend their father’s farm, to save their family land.

Ben’s grip tightened on his hand with each labored breath.

When his horse, Betsy, had gotten sick and lay suffering in the barn, Ash had knelt beside her and rubbed her side with his hand, begging her to get better. His father had brought him his hunting rifle and told him to put her out of her misery. To let her go. To let her be at peace.

He knew his brother was dying, that these were his last breaths. He wondered if it would be right to give Ben the same mercy he’d given Betsy. He knew he couldn’t. Even if it was the right thing to do, he knew he couldn’t. The Lord would have to take Ben. Ash wouldn’t help with that.

Ash bowed his head.

“Lord, have mercy,” he begged.

Silence.

Ash looked up to see Ben’s labored breathing had ended. He let out a gasp, and then in the silence, he heard a woman scream.

His brother was gone.

Ash still lived. He looked to the sky and then leaned over his brother to gently close his eyes.

He crawled toward the scream.

He could smell smoke and it drove him forward. Toward home. Toward his family. Toward Sally Ann.

He pushed himself up off the ground. He ran, dragging his injured leg behind him and cursing it for being so slow. He passed the bodies of his friends and neighbors. There was nothing he could do for them. They were in the Lord’s hands now.

He reached the edge of the woods and saw flames touching the sky above the barn.  He didn’t stop. He kept on towards the house. He thought of his folks. He thought of Sally Ann, who he swore he would marry if he could get to her alive.

So, now that you've had a peek at this sampler, let me know in the comments what kind of man do you think Ash Loanwright is? Did I do my job or not?

A Severe Mercy by Sheldon VanAuken a book review

We first meet a young man who has lost his father and his childhood home. We walk with him through his memories. He’s searching for something to make life worth living, something good, and true, and beautiful. All the books he’s read tell him it’s found in great love. He’s heard that some have found it in the love of God, but that’s not for him – he doesn’t even believe in God. He’s too smart to fall for that fairy tale.

We learn right away that he does find a great love, and he marries her, and then she dies. In fact, his wife’s death is given away on the back cover. Most of the book is about “Davy” (Jean Davis), their friendship, their love, their journey through a life of shared interests, seeking and appreciating beauty in all things. Above all, it is a story about the greatest love of all, being pursued by a living Savior.

At Oxford, these pagans meet philosophers and physicists, intellectuals of all sorts, and some of them are Christians, but to Sheldon’s surprise, he finds he likes them anyway. The joy of Oxford was that everything could be debated, no subject was forbidden. They spent their days studying great minds of the past and their evenings debating the great minds in their midst. On the topic of Christianity, an unbeliever might scoff and say, “I just don’t get how you can believe this cock & bull story about a resurrection from the dead” and everyone would laugh and go on with a hearty debate about the thing, always remaining in good spirits, and as good friends.

Those Christian friends encouraged Sheldon to read C.S. Lewis, who happened to be a professor at Oxford at the time. When Davy announces that she believes, and wants to go to church, Sheldon goes along. They both enjoy the beauty of the cathedrals, the high church liturgy, and the bells that ring throughout Oxford. But Sheldon doesn’t believe. He isn’t convinced. He’s stuck on the Resurrection. How can it be? He writes to Lewis, and Lewis in turn does more than respond, but invites him to lunch where they eat and drink and debate theology. This friendship grows over many such lunches, and many such letters.

Sheldon soon finds himself in a predicament. If Christianity is false then he would be a fool to fall for it, but if it is true then he must submit to it for to do otherwise would be to “reject my god.” Ever the rationalist, he finds himself standing on a ledge over an abyss – the leap of faith forward, without absolute proof, is foolhardy. But he also realizes that to take the leap back to unbelief, without proof, would be a mistake far greater. It’s an all or nothing crisis.

A Severe Mercy is a beautifully written story of one man’s experience being pursued by a relentlessly loving God.

Finding Hope: From Brokenness to Restoration by Heidi Goehmann; a book review

"Hope isn’t really hope until you need it,” Goehmann says in her book titled Finding Hope. Christ is the hope that comes in the brokenness of our lives. The brokenness of sin – our own, the sin of those around us, original sin, and the labor pains of a fallen world. Christ is there in the midst of it, redeeming us, redeeming the whole world.

This is the gist of her message woven throughout this hundred and fifty page book. The hope she speaks of is the hope we see in Romans chapter 5, where we read, “…suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit…” (See Romans 5:3-5)

The world needs this hope, we need this hope, to know that brokenness can be healed. When we are honest about our brokenness we unveil if from the shame and blame that cloaks it, and we bring it into the light so it can be healed. Brokenness makes us ask God “Who am I? Because if I am Yours, then why all of this?” Brokenness makes us ask “Am I worthy of being loved?”

Goehmann, a licensed clinical social worker and mental health care provider, says we need to learn to name the brokenness, and part of that is being honest about how we feel. When we hold in our emotions – our bodies take the brunt of them in stress, tension, and inflammation. We get into trouble when we let our emotions boil over onto others – our feelings should not lead the way in our decision making, and yet in our brokenness, they often do. The Holy Spirit is our Counselor and God’s Word is our guide. These speak truth, hope, and love when our emotions speak all sorts of other things.

We walk a broken journey with an unbreakable Savior, Goehmann is quick to remind us.

When we gather around God’s Word, we are reminded of Christ, who speaks hope over brokenness. With His Word and by His Spirit, we can walk through brokenness. We rejoice in hope, in the glory of God. Even in Christ, the race we run in this life is not easy. Imagine how hard it is to walk through this life of brokenness without Christ. That is why we share Christ with others. To give them Hope. We raise the banner of Christ for the world to see. We raise it over the darkness and brokenness that surrounds us and our neighbors.

We cannot avoid brokenness; to try to escape it is to heap unrealistic expectations of perfection upon ourselves and those around us. We often work to make our families “appear” to be without brokenness, and this is dishonest. It prevents us from getting the help we need, forces us into isolation, and causes increasing anxiety. It also forces us to carry shame and leads us to avoid relationships with other Christians who can comfort us with the hope that is in Christ.

The light of Hope is more clearly seen when we confess our sins and acknowledge our need for a Savior. Perfect people do not exist in this world but forgiven and loved people do. God brings hope to us all and gives us an Identity in Him. We look out into our broken communities that need the Hope of Christ, and we ask the same question that Jesus was asked in Luke chapter 10, “Who is my neighbor?” and the answer is the same as it was then, “The person in the ditch is your neighbor. The one who needs compassion is your neighbor. The broken, the bruised, the one in need – that’s your neighbor.” (see Luke 10:25-37)

Goehmann urges us to see Christ in all things. She reminds readers that “Our broken things are never left untouched by God.” He may not return things to the way they once were, the things of this world never last, but He sends His Son to give us eternal healing.

Finding Hope ends with a series of discussion questions to go along with each chapter, from brokenness in ourselves, and our relationships to brokenness in our neighborhoods and communities. She points the reader over and over again to the One who makes all things new.

Brokenness impacts everything. But it doesn’t get the last word. Christ does.

New Year's Goals and Resolutions for homeschool moms

 Do you make a New Year's resolution? I think homeschool moms make every day resolutions, at least that's how it feels in my house. 

"We will get all of our planned academic bookwork done today... tomorrow... this week..."

"I will be gentler with that sensitive child."

"I will be stricter with that strong willed child."

"I will make sure everyone is showered and dressed by the time Dad gets home for dinner, even me. Tomorrow."

Whatever level of goal setting or resolution making you are at, know that you are not alone. We are all trying to find ways to be better, to do better, to accomplish more. In 2022, I set a goal to read 122 books. It seemed challenging, but reasonable. I made it to 100, barely. 

I also planned to write a book of my own. I finished one travel journal of our month out east. It's free for Kindle Unlimited subscribers. I did not finish the novel I've been trying to write for the past seven years. It just keeps eluding me.

But, instead of saying, I can't do it, I just set a new goal for 2023. Many new goals in fact. But, I set them based on what I learned. 

1. I loved the journey through 100 books. I read books I never thought I would get to as I pushed myself to put away the phone and read, to choose a story in a book instead of a story on tv, and to take on books that would challenge me. I learned that I can read a hundred books in a year, but I cannot read a hundred heavy academic works in that time. I found myself rushed to finish for the sake of finishing, when part of me really wanted to linger in a text and take it in. So, I will aim for a hundred books again in 2023, but I will read more fiction for the pure enjoyment (and speed) of it, and I will take the time to really enjoy and take notes on the more difficult texts. 

2. I hoped to write a blog, the kind that makes money, and I tried for a bit to learn how that happens, but it seems that the only way to make money from a blog is to sell yourself. What I mean by that is that you must write in SEO (search engine optimization) - looking for ways to write the words that make the search engines boost you to the top of the listings, or pay for ads to be boosted to the top so that anyone will find you in the first few results because don't look further than that. Then, when you get enough hits, advertisers will pay you to drive traffic to their site. I hate clickbait as much as anyone, so I chose not to be that person. It probably means no one will ever read my blog, but I write it as much for myself as anyone so I choose to keep writing, keep posting and be happy with it for its own sake.

3. I imagine myself an urban homesteader even though I've never managed to make a single plant grown on my own, and our only animals are an indoor cat and a pet bunny. But, I keep reading, keep learning, and maybe someday I really will do the things I dream. In the meantime, I am teaching my children where our food comes from and how much work it takes to get it to our table. I am teaching them that learning to do things that are not in your natural skillset is worth attempting. 

4. I have all the same goals and struggles as any other homeschool mom. After 20+ years, and a wide range of needs and skill levels, we have been through a lot, and we just keep plugging on. Every day, we set new goals, we face new challenges, and every day we try to do better, to be better. 

Pancakes and Pajamas, typical homeschoolers

One of the great advantages of homeschooling is the freedom!

Freedom to still be wearing Minecraft pajamas in the middle of the day and have no one teasing you about it.

Freedom to make pancakes for lunch, because you have as much time as you need and no one ringing a bell to alert you that your lunch is over.

Easy burger patties - no touching!

I don't like touching cold, raw hamburger meat, but we all love burgers for dinner.

I came up with this simple, nifty trick for making burger patties that are relatively equal in size, but don't require me to keep sticking my hands back into the meat bowl.

By the time I mix up the spices and the meat (bare handed), my hands are miserable... so I want to wash them and be done with the meat touching.

First, I decided to use my ice cream scoop to get even servings...

Next, to make them patties, I used my potato masher to get them flat.

And, then, tada
Decent looking patties with no touching!

Share your cooking tips in the comments. I would love to hear them.

Sports Night Crock Pot Lasagna

Cheap and Easy - that's not an ad, that's what I want my meals to be... well, let's be honest, I would like lots of things to be cheap and easy, but this recipe actually is.

I call it a Sports Night recipe because that is usually when we usually need a convenient meal. It has to be yummy and filling enough to stop me from running through the drive thru after practice.

This lasagna needs the following ingredients (this feeds 2 adults, 3 teens, and 4 kids):
2 lbs cooked ground beef
2 lbs lasagna noodles
3 cans/jars of pasta sauce (2 quarts will work if you can your own)
1 can diced tomatoes
2 lbs cheese (mozzarella is the staple, but whatever you like will work)
some spices to your preference (I use oregano and basil)

I prep this about 11am while making lunch. Layer in crock the following:
Sauce, meat, noodles, cheese, noodles, sauce, tomatoes, meat, cheese, noodles, sauce, meat, cheese. Add spices to layers of sauce as you go.

I leave on high from lunchtime until about 2:30, then turn to keep warm. Kids can meander in from school and eat right away, athletes can get a hardy carb and protein meal before practice or the night before a big game, Dad can eat when he comes in from work, and Mom will, of course, taste test throughout the day to make sure it is just right.

Tip: make sure all noodles are covered with sauce, exposed noodles will not soften

If you have time and inclination, a simple garlic loaf goes well with this dish.

The Great -ish British Baking Show Homeschool Style

This adventure started with this book

You can buy it on Amazon or from Veritas Press.

All really good adventures start with a book, don't they?

It started out simple enough, like most workbooks, with reading assignments and comprehension questions... stuff about England...
but, then
page 13

Two recipes + two boys + no time limit =
our homeschool version of the Great -ish British baking show.

And, the competition begins...

I did not know when we started this project that it would take two days, but we are flexible (one of the many blessings of homeschooling), so here we are on day 2.

Noah learned about separating eggs to get egg white and he learned about burning cookies. Sadly.
But, he figured out that if he took them out sooner than the recipe said, they would be just right. (I think the recipe time was fine, but our oven is wonky.)

When the time arrived, they both proudly presented their British baked goods right on time for afternoon tea.
From my perspective, this adventure was more fun to watch than anything on TV.

Things We're Afraid To Talk About

I have recently, like in the last few years, had several meaningful conversations that have stuck with me and informed me about my local culture. What they have in common is the quick and succinct, "Shut up about that!"

I shared this photo on my Facebook page today:


It expresses exactly how I feel about this issue. Except, if you could hear me, I would be yelling it.

There seems to be a sort of cultural understanding that we will not discuss anything that actually affects our salvation, unless we can agree wholeheartedly on it. So, it's okay to say, "Jesus loves you" to a fellow Christian (although not to their unbelieving friends) and you can't say "Jesus hates sin" to anyone because Sin is one of those forbidden topics - primarily because the definition of sin is something we struggle to agree on. Using God's Word as a guide for this definition is not even to be suggested because we might not interpret it the same way...

The root of all this is that we seem to have come to a time, over generations, that keeping a friendship alive is more important than seeing that "friend" in Heaven.

I have tried to dialogue about this with my peers, and some nod in agreement, others shake their heads in frustration, but no one seems to have a solution as to how to solve it. Well, except to teach the next generation Logic and Rhetoric, so they can actually have arguments that lead to Truth. And, there are some (Hillsdale College, Veritas Press, and others) who are trying to do just that.

So, the problem I have with all of this is a deep, dark looming sadness over what I know to be True. When I am told that we will not discuss matters of salvation - I'm talking about what is sin? how are we saved? - or debate theology in any way because it might put our friendships at risk, I can only see this one of two ways:

1. You don't really believe that God's Word is true and sustaining and clearly shows the way to salvation and that without it I am doomed to Hell - so you don't feel a need to warn me that I am on my way to Eternal Damnation.

OR

2. You really do believe that God's Word is true and sustaining and clearly shows the way to salvation and that without it I am doomed to Hell, but you hate me and don't feel a need to warn me that I am on my way to Eternal Damnation.

Both of these scenarios make me sad, and I really wish we could talk about it.

Expert Parenting Advice From Me To You

When I read parenting blogs or advice columns, I often wonder about the qualifications of said advice giver.

Does she have one perfectly docile and complacent child? My first was kind of like that.

Does she have a toddler who eats everything, climbs everything, unlocks everything, and is somehow both stronger and faster than her? I've had a couple of those. Did she survive those years? I have to know.

Every summer at camp, the kids get a group shot of the whole crowd of them. 

I had two kids at camp the same week this summer. Both of them are in this cut out of the group. One is the smiling boy in the blue Thrivent shirt. The other is the grouchy (part of me wants to say creepy looking) kid in the red hat hiding his face in the upper right corner. See him now? 

This is a great example of their personality differences. One is bubbly and smiling and full of drama who loves to follow the crowd. The other is a quiet, deep thinker who prefers to walk against the tide just to see how far he can.

One of them leaves a mess and wanders off. The other likes to keep his things neat. One likes loud music, the other likes to make his own. 

They share a room. The peace treaty is often violated between these two.

I've been doing this parenting thing for more than 20 years. I'm a mother in law and a nursing mom at the same time. I've researched scholarships while in labor. I've run the spectrum of parenting experiences and here's what I know: very little.

The longer I do this parenting gig, the more I realize how much I don't know. So, moms, take it from an expert, I believe you are doing the best you can in your experience, your circumstances and with what you know. So, keep reading those blogs and articles, but remember this: anyone who claims to have all the answers to your parenting questions hasn't really been in the parenting trenches yet.

SuperMom completes craft, saves world

To my crafty friends, how do you get anything else done?

This took half the day, first, read instructions, think about supply list, try to remember what I have/need to get and where these things are. (I did all of that the night before)

 Then, gather supplies, teach kid how to trace, how to cut, get impatient three hours later and finish cutting them for her.

Assemble flowers, wait 20 minutes for her to find her hairbrush, put up hair, realize you did a twist backwards, argue with kid about starting over, give in and leave it.

Finish braiding, attach flowers to hair pins, and place in hair. Get pictures quick because you know this is not going to last.

Pour a refreshing drink as she bounces off with her "I'm a princess hair and attitude" Sit down to enjoy said drink. Spit out first sip when you hear screams from the child's bedroom.

A flower fell out. Of course.

Try about three dozen times over the next hour to make them stay in, explaining to your daughter that it is impoosible to have beautiful hair AND do gymnastics on your bed.

Regret these words when child says, "Fine. I'll just throw the flowers away then."

Talk child out of throwing away a whole day of hard work, and save them in the box of other random pretty things her heart can't let go of.

Send her off to play, apocalypse averted for another day. Collapse from exhaustion and silently swear to throw away every kids magazine with a craft project in it.

But, hey, at least I get to keep this cool picture.

The right way to handle the stomach flu in a big family

After two decades of parenting and a few bouts with illness, I've finally discovered the best way to handle sickness in our family.

First, a tip: this last time our family was ill, I had just done a full day of deep cleaning. The next morning, I had a vomiting child. So, first of all, Moms - you must simply NEVER do too much deep cleaning. I think it stirs up something. Although, if you're going to have children sticking their head in the toilet, it might as well be clean.

Once the sickness begins, here's how you need to handle it:
1. The first one down should be a child, but one of the bigger children, preferably a responsible teenager who can make it to the bathroom, leave as little mess as possible, generally clean up after himself and give you some warning that the rest are coming.

2. Next, all the Littles should be sick at once. There is something lovely about having all the small children lay on the floor on top of a blanket with there little puke buckets (remember, you were warned it was coming) while Mommy nurses the baby and reads Bennet's book of Children's Virtues.

3.Now, it is best if Mom is generally unaffected by the illness itself. She will, of course, be nauseated by all the vomiting and diarrhea that is happening around her, but she really cannot afford to come down with an actual illness herself. If she is tired and happens to throw up once or twice, it's really just a side effect of caring for all the others.

4. This is the time to have those older children who have not yet gotten sick catching up on schoolwork and chores and helping keep things under control. Dad should get to the store for supplies - it's okay if he doesn't usually do the shopping - he's more likely to overbuy than underbuy, and at this point, you want all the help you can get. He should also pick himself up something for dinner because he'll still have his appetite, but cleaning up vomit and cooking just should not go together.

5. The other bigger children and Dad can get sick when all the Littles are done with the grossest symptoms and have moved on to lethargy. This way, Mom can take care of them (with the help of that responsible teenager who got sick at first and is now feeling much better), while the Littles are generally content to lay around with books, or even watch TV. Families - if you never let your children watch television or sit with their face glued to a Kindle - NOW is the time to just let it happen.

5. Lastly, I highly recommend picking up a bug with a short life span. Those 24-hour ones are probably the best bet. That way, with this method, you can have the whole thing out of the house and everyone recovering in about 72 hours. This is so much better than the method where one child gets sick, gets better, then another gets sick, slowly passing the crud through the family, one by one, for weeks at a time, always wondering who will be next.

On one last note, if your husband happens to be a Pastor, I would suggest not scheduling this ordeal on Ash Wednesday or any other major feast day. Otherwise, you're welcome, because at least now you know that even if you can't control the illness that attacks your family, you can come out the other side with a sense of humor.

Genghis Khan story review

This is a story review by Tyler Johnson (age 15) on the story of Genghis Khan and his Hawk.

He writes:

A very good story with a good moral. Genghis Kahn was a fierce general who ran his army. He went hunting with his hawk. I believe this is a very happy and sad but fun story.

The main characters are Kahn and his Hawk. Kahn is a large, fierce man. His Hawk is an agile bird with long wings. They are motivated by their love to hunt. Khan is very rash. The hawk is a little too prideful.

Kahn needs water. He was chasing a deer and got lost. He then thirst. He found a stream. But, the hawk wouldn't let him drink. He moves toward the source of the stream, but the hawk still won't let him drink. Kahn is angered.

In the end, Kahn kills his friend, and throws his cup only to find the water was poisoned. He grieves over his friend. He learns that it's not always for pleasure or gain someone does something. It has an overall theme of friendship and loss.

Khan is very relatable. We all have been too harsh at times. We all have been like the hawk, trying to help and only being punished. It's kind of ironic. Kahn was super smart and strong yet wouldn't listen to his best friend. I think that Kahn killing the bird makes the story so much more powerful. I was very intrigued by what would happen. It added to the story to keep the venom hidden because then when he found it the poison was all the more surprising.

I was quite surprised by the snake. I had no idea the snake would be there. I felt very sad about the bird dying to save one. It is obvious the author is trying to tell us sometimes we should just listen. It teaches us that standing up for another is never wrong. It is motives that can go astray. I found it a fun, sad and interesting read.

Tyler read the version of this story by Lori Verstegen, through the Institute for Excellence in Writing curriculum.

Leaving Time by Jodi Picoult a book review

Our book club just read Leaving Time by Jodi Picoult.

She has an interesting theme in her books of tackling an environmental or social issue through her story. In Leaving Time, Picoult spends a lot of time discussing elephants and their emotional responses to their environment, specifically grief.

She accomplishes this by creating a character whose job it is to study elephants and their emotional responses.

One thing that really sticks out in this novel for me is the Point Of View changes. They seem to be a common technique among contemporary writers, but I find them aggravating as a reader. They make the whole book FEEL like fiction.

Character viewpoint changes force me as a reader to do extra mental work of keeping up with who's talking when. I want the author to do that work for me, so I can benefit from the enjoyment of being drawn into the imaginary time and place and just enjoy the story.

Fiction shouldn't be so hard.

Picoult is not the first author I've read that does this, but it is very frequent in Leaving Time.

As to this specific novel, there is a lot of spirit/ghost/reincarnation conjecture presented as truth, right alongside the scientific information about elephants. One being so far-fetched makes me wonder if the facts about the elephants are real or made up. I don't know enough about this author to know how she does her research.

The changing Point of View combined with the presentation of the Netherworld come together in the end to bring about a surprise ending to the book, which I won't give away here at all, except to say that everyone in our group was not expecting it to end the way it did, and you probably won't expect it either.

Even though, in the end, I did see the benefit of the techniques she used and how it brought the story all together, I did not enjoy the journey.

So, if you like to read for literary analysis, or because you promised your book club that you would, there is an ending that will give you something to talk about. But, if you like a novel simply for the pleasure of it, I can't recommend Leaving Time by Jodi Picoult.

Homeshooling How We Do It

Welcome to homeschooling, year 14. As this year comes to a close and I start to face year 15, I noticed a theme that seems to keep repeating year after year. Perhaps you've noticed it in your house too.

We are ready to be done, physically and mentally, but not academically.

So, about this time of year, I start thinking about how to make next year better.

7 of the 8 children are still here in the house, and still need my time and attention daily. This year I taught 11th grade, 9th, 7th, 3rd and 1st grade all at once, with a three year old who likes to yell at me

"MOM, WHERE'S MY SCHOOLWORK!"

and a one year old who until recently was still nursing.

I often hear this question: "HOW DO YOU DO IT?" and almost always, the person asking is either not a homeschooler and completely clueless, and there is no answer that I can give them, OR the person is a homeschooling mom who is really asking, "HOW CAN I DO IT?"

So, I'm going to try to help answer both of those questions, without too much snark, and try to keep it real.

TIP #1 MAKE LESSON PLANS AND LISTS
REALITY #1 YOU WILL PROBABLY ALWAYS BE BEHIND SCHEDULE

After trying all sorts of things, I've learned that for my personality, I need to spend the summer researching curriculum and developing lesson plans. I have publishers I like Veritas Press and I usually start with their recommendations and tailor it to each child (I'll talk about that next). I use a grid from Sonlight to plan out our daily lessons or goals.

The first page always looks something like this ALL IN PENCIL with subjects along the side column and children's names at the top. It's a worksheet, a place for me to plan out what I hope to accomplish over the course of the year.

Then, I create a page for each day (Monday - Friday for 36 weeks) - this is important for those of you who have to report attendance or record a certain number of school days per year - at the end of the year, this can serve as your record book as well as a help for planning out the next year.

An individual day plan looks more like this.
TIP #2 MAKE ALL YOUR PLANS IN PENCIL
REALITY #2 PLANS CHANGE

I use a yellow highlighter to put a line through each item as we complete it. Notice not box is full. You do not have to do every subject every day. Also, we don't finish all the planned items on the day I plan them, so if we finish something the next day, I don't move it in the planner, I just highlight it whenever we finish it.

So, what to put on the plan?

I spend a lot of time really thinking about who each child is, what matters to them, what motivates them, what they want to learn about and how I can teach it to them while still having them learn the things I want them to learn.
For my high schoolers, I asked them this year to make a list of the classes they wish were offered at their school, classes they would take if they could. I'm using that list to direct my curriculum choices.

Some packaged curriculum come with an already laid out lesson plan, so I just transfer that to our daily chart. Most of them are at the very least designed to fit into an 18 week or 36 week plan, so it's just a matter of sitting down with the curriculum and sorting out what makes sense to do each day.

If you are creating your own curriculum then you will have to decide how to break down the work into daily bites. This is not difficult, but it does take more time. But, if you are developing your own curriculum, then you are already investing a big chunk of time. I've done both over the years, and I prefer to write my own for some subjects, and prefer a canned curriculum for others - it depends on you and your child.


TIP #3 RELY ON YOUR OLDER CHILDREN TO BE INDEPENDENT AND HELPFUL
REALITY #3 SOMETIMES THEY ARE SICK AND/OR GRUMPY TOO OR PROCRASTINATORS OR WELL, JUST HUMAN...

In real use, I pull out this binder every day and it helps keep us focused.
If I'm sick, or away from home, or taking a child to the doctor or nursing the baby, an older child can open the binder and know what to do and can help younger children to know what to do.

As the year progresses, we tend to get ahead in some subjects (you don't have to stop reading just because your lesson plan says that you've done one day of work - you just mark off what you accomplish), and you'll fall behind in others. That makes using the binder a little more challenging for a child.

I keep bookmarks at the spots where we are in each subject and move the bookmarks as we go along. I use sticky notes so they don't get accidentally moved.

TIP #4 MAKE LISTS
REALITY #4 SOME CHILDREN WILL IGNORE THEIR LIST IF YOU DON'T HOUND THEM

To keep the day running smoothly, it usually helps to start with everyone at the dining room table. I begin with math, since most of them can work on practice problems or reading their next lesson in their books on their own while I work with them one at a time. I check their previous work, and write down their next assignment.
Then, we do Grammar. As I work with each individual child, the others start on their math assignments.

I work through each subject this way, reviewing material, answering questions and writing down the next assignment. 

When all goes well, each child has an assignment sheet to work through in just a couple of hours, allowing me to help children who need extra explanation, prepare "schoolwork" for the three year old, plan meals and it allows older, independent children to leave the table and go find quiet spaces to work.

When all goes sour, well then we sit at the table for awhile and still get some things done, but I don't have to try and make a judgement about how "good" of a day we had. This gives me an objective perspective on our year as a whole. I can look back over weeks and months, not just one bad day, and I can see what we've accomplished.

TIP #5 GIVE OLDER CHILDREN QUIET SPACES TO WORK
REALITY #5 SOME CHILDREN WILL STILL TRY TO WORK ON THE COUCH IN FRONT OF THE TV.

Our older children have tables in their room that they can use for studying. We also have a couple of small tables in our basement that can be used for younger children to do art projects and Playdoh or for older children to study at if necessary.

If they show that they are having trouble doing their work with the freedom to get their work done at their own pace, then I make them stay at the dining room table and work there. When they show a more diligent work ethic, they get their freedom back.

For especially difficult lessons, I will also ask older children to take the Littles to play with their toys so that I can work with one child alone who needs extra help.

TIP #6 DON'T LET THE LIST LIMIT YOU
REALITY #6 THERE ARE MANY THINGS THAT ARE EDUCATIONAL THAT YOU WON'T THINK TO INCLUDE IN YOUR LESSON PLANS

As fun and interesting things present themselves, go do them. Take time off of your schedule for swimming lessons, theater productions, hikes in the woods and whatever other things your family likes to do.

This year we discovered the Performing Arts Center in our area and their educational series. So, when we do those things, I pencil them into the lesson plans, or in the side margins if necessary. This year, we've added speech and essay contests, 4H projects, theater productions, drama club, youth group, swimming lessons and more to our original lesson plans.

How do I do it all? Here are some tips, but my answer is really by the grace of God go we.
So, don't forget to pray.

The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah book review

The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah was awful.

I don't mean to say that the plot or the writing was bad, but it made me feel awful.

I cried, and cried. Which means she did her job well, I suppose, but it also means this book is not for everyone. I believe the reality that she portrays in the text is probably an accurate depiction of the world during WWII, even though it is fiction. The story weighs heavy on my heart.

WARNING: As always, there will be spoilers.

Before I get too into the heart-wrenching stuff, I'll start with some literary observations. Kristin Hannah does some interesting theological things in The Nightingale. In the beginning, the main character tells us that she believes, or at least wants to believe that those who've died are "...in a better place." but then the character tells us that she knows that's not true. This start to her character made me watch for other clues to her faith because I wondered, Did she have no faith, or did she believe that they were doomed to Hell?

She says that she wants the "hope of forgiveness" But, she knows better. This sounds like a faith that has been lost. It sets the tone for the rest of the story.

In chapter 23, the Jewish people of the community are being fired and arrested and deported, and she wonders how can these things take place just because "...they pray to a different God" Earlier in the story, we are told that she is Roman Catholic. This idea that they are praying to and worshiping a different god is a perspective I don't normally see.

But, it is confirmed later, when Vianne's daughters best friend dies, and she tries to comfort the girl by telling her that Sarah has gone to heaven and Sophie replies, "I'm not stupid." If she believes what she is hearing in church every Sunday, then she can not also believe that her Jewish friend is in heaven. This is a harsh reality for this young girl. And, the story for her family, only gets worse.

By Chapter 30 of The Nightingale, I was feeling sick, depressed... not one good thing had happened in the entire story.

Kristin Hannah plants an apple tree in the middle of this story, where our characters tie ribbons of fabric to a branch to remember the lost. By page 368, the tree that produces fresh, sweet apples for them in the beginning is dead and black, twisted and rotten... a literary parallel to the rest of the story.

I've kept reading thus far because I said I would, and because as sick as I feel about it, I do hope for an ending of redemption.

One page 380, Babineau tells Juliette "Some stories don't have happy endings."

The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah is a book without a happy ending. You will not come away feeling better about anything.

In terms of writing quality, the story draws the reader in from the beginning, and with the exception of the time jumps (which seem to be a current fad in newer fiction, but annoy me personally), there were no blatant errors that stood out and made me remember that it's only fiction.

Now, for the part that wrenches at my heart...

The two main characters in this book are sisters, in Paris, in WWII. They both face challenges and wonder what to do. Both are faced with a situation where they feel they MUST do something, but what? One sister leaves home and seeks out that something, the other finds it in her own home.

They are not Jewish. They are not German. They are French Roman Catholics. They are bystanders, witnesses. But, they do not remain bystanders.

The emotional pulls of the characters in The Nightingale are sympathetic and make a reader wonder, "What would you do?"

It reminded me of a book we read last year. Elie Weisel Night. This autobiographical piece, translated by his wife Marion tells of Weisel's experience during the war, in the concentration camps and afterward. In one scene, he describes lines of people being marched up to the incinerator, the smell of burning bodies, and the German residents in their homes along the road. I remember picturing women hanging clothes on the line to the smell of burning flesh, young German girls flirting with the soldiers who passed by... I remember wondering then, what would I do? What could I do?

I remember my oldest daughter coming to me at fourteen and telling me that she had learned that one third of her generation had been killed by abortion.

ONE THIRD

What had I done while they were dying? Did I know about it? How could I not know? Was I complicit in it? Was I trying to stop it?

How can I stand in my yard, hanging up my laundry, while knowing that millions of children are being slaughtered alive?

This book. This story. These characters. They bring all of that emotion to the surface.

And, I weep.

Talking to Girls in "How Can You Say That?" summary and book review

How Can You Say That? by Amy Lynch with Dr. Linda Ashford is a book about girls and talking, and talking to girls and listening to girls and understanding how girls use words to control their environment.

"[They] understand the power of saying things aloud to people who matter to them." (6) According to studies quoted, psychologists have found that high estrogen levels increase linguistic abilities - helping girls to remember exactly what you said, and come up with just the right word for the situation.

Our girls are exposed to language that is MEANER than it used to be, whether it's language they hear at school, on television, from the internet or on the street. (7) This makes it that much more important for us to really hear what our girls are saying, underneath the words themselves, as they hear and say things beyond the words themselves, such as tone, lilt, cadence, syntax, and pitch.

For example, girls know a fine line between interruptions and interjections. An unwelcome, off-topic comment is an interruption, but an on-topic, supportive comment is an interjection and is perceived as relating, not interrupting. This is why groups of girls carry on conversations apparently over the top of one another. "Researchers have found that girls are less likely than boys to end speaking by actually falling silent. Sometimes when girls have said all they want to say, they just start repeating themselves, and that's an invitation for us to begin speaking." (11)

After a chapter of academic support for the ideas proposed, the authors Lynch and Ashford go on to address specific areas of struggle in communicating with our growing girls. They ask parents to consider the following questions in the midst of conflict:

1. How can I bring some calmness to what is happening?
2. What can I do or say that will show her I'm listening?
3. What can I say that will validate her feelings, or at least not make things worse?
4. What can I say that will express my own feelings, and not make things worse?

Then, they continue to present chapter by chapter, answers to these questions as they apply to specific situations. Chapter 3 tackles picky eaters and more in 'body size and food issues'; Four helps parents take on the 'you embarrass me' statements; following chapters address competition, bedroom conditions, disobedience and disrespect, boys, boyfriends and sex, and household chores.

Overall, I learned some interesting things about how my teenage daughters and I communicate with each other and possibly even learned some insightful ideas about how she hears the things I say to her. But, while I was reading this in reference to girls who are 17 and 19 years old, the examples in the book are often much younger.

For example, what do you do when your fifth grader tells you she's "going with" a boy; or your sixth grader wants to go to a party; or a ten year old who can't leave the bathroom because she has to look 'just so' in school or suffer for her imperfections.

Homeschooling does have it's advantages. It's difficult for me to imagine girls so young in these situations, but Lynch and Ashford have research to back up the age-range for their examples - many of them come from real families who were actually in these situations.

I found their advice on some of these circumstances to be too liberal - not saying 'no' to a ten year old with a steady boyfriend, but instead encouraging her discovery of romance.The answers they offered seemed more appropriate for older girls, but I do recognize that young girls who attend public school are usually more worldly in their knowledge and experience than their homeschooled counterparts, making this book a relevant source for their target market.

Don Quixote, the Crusades and slowly reading still

Nearly a year ago, I began a journey through The Well-Educated Mind. The first novel in the reading list is Don Quixote.

It's been a year.

I'm still trying to read Don Quixote.

It is SO long. Well, really, it's just a little over a thousand pages in paperback. It shouldn't take me this long. But, I suppose what I'm learning is that it isn't a speed read kind of book. The language is above my reading level. I have to read slowly to grasp the meanings and the many nuances of his language.

I've realized that Cervantes will need more than one blog post to make a book review. The plot starts out rather silly, with our poor addle-minded lead thinking he is a character from one of his treasured tales of knights errant. He goes off on adventures that are simply ridiculous.

But, the author often surprises me with his wit, as I discussed in this earlier post.

This morning, as I venture to read more of Don Quixote's silly antics, I am nearing the halfway point of this novel. For the first time, I find myself actually interested in the tale he tells as he describes his experiences as a soldier in the Crusades.

Of his fellow soldiers who fell in battle, he writes:

'O happy souls, delivered and set free

By heroes in a sacrosanct campaign

from the dark prison of mortality

to soar aloft to heaven's supreme domain:

Your breasts with noble zeal and fury glowed,

you tireless sinews braved prodigious toil

your blood with that of Turks and Arabs flowed

to stain the sea and drench the dusty soil.

Your earthly lives but not your courage failed

in bodies from which all the strength had flown, 

victorious though defeated and bewailed

on perishing between cold steel and stone;

because for such a death before such foes

its fame the world, its glory heaven bestows.'

It makes me think that Cervantes could have been a hymn writer.

The Flipside of Feminism by Suzanne Venker; a book review

First, I wanted to love this book. I wanted to be on Venker's side. I knew going in that this book would address some things that I have felt for a long time needed to be addressed. I also knew I would run the risk of having my review jaded because I already agree with some of her precepts.

However, the first chapter was so harsh, she almost lost me. In fact, some of the members of my book club stopped reading after the first chapter. Venker comes out of the gates strong, rallying for a fight, and I appreciate her passion to give a voice to women who have been silenced for two generations.

I do believe that women who choose family over careers and spotlights are without a voice. We are too busy being the mothers and wives that we want to be; the administration of a household requires a great deal of energy, intelligence, creativity, frugality, ingenuity and most of all, time. Writing a book demands those things, and many of us are not willing to split our time and energy between the two tasks.

I take pride in the job I do in my home. I like it to be neat and orderly, and efficient. I enjoy the work of caring for and teaching my children. My job is much too important to be set aside so I can go rallying in Washington D.C. to make policy changes. I am not alone.

There are many women who are doing the exact same thing - putting their families above all other earthly things; money, fame, prestige, etc. We think liberal ideology (by this term I mean "free for all" not a reference to a political party) is generally ridiculous. We think the ideas, such as late term abortions, easy-peasy divorces, tax penalties for married couples, marriage that is anything other than one man & one woman, for example are so ridiculous that they won't possibly happen. But, then, they do, and we are shocked. We sigh, and we pray, and we're disappointed in the people who are supposed to represent us. But, in the end, we refuse to sacrifice the most important job in the world to go do their job. We'd love for our husbands to do it on our behalf, but they are too busy working double shifts to earn enough money for our families to survive in a world where all the prices reflect households with two incomes. So, we lament. And, mostly, we are silent.

Venker is trying to break that silence. I think her first chapter is meant to be a rallying cry to these women. Or maybe it is meant to incite the opposition. I'm not sure which. Likely, it's both.

Some of what she says speaks directly to my own experience, particularly the extreme feminist ideology in public education. I saw many of the same things twenty years ago as a high school and college student, again five years ago as a returning adult student, and even today as I listen to my daughter talk about her college experience. I don't think these situations are outliers. I think they are the norm.

**Anecdotal evidence does not a good argument make, however.

By chapter 3, she gets to the meat of her argument, so hopefully you make it that far.

She tries to answer questions like, If we listen to the message that casual sex is "liberating" for women, and we pass out condoms in elementary schools like this one in Massachusetts, or this one in Oregon, what does that do to our society?

Chapter 4 is about marriage. Venker asks questions like What happens to marriage if we tell women that their number one priority in life should be their own personal happiness? If we tell children to only do what feels good, what happens to our neighbor?

My favorite quote from this chapter is this one by George Gilder, "The crucial process of civilization is the subordination of male sexual impulses and biology to the long-term horizons of female sexuality. In creating civilization, women transform male lust into love; channel wanderlust into jobs, homes and families; link men to specific children; rear children into citizens; and change hunters to fathers. The prime fact of life is the sexual superiority of women."

Why would we willingly give that up?? What fantastical ideas must we have to make us think there is something more valuable to chase after than what we already had?

Venker tries to answer questions like, what happens when we tell girls that they can't possibly WANT to stay home with their children? That if she thinks she wants it, the she must be delusional, brain-washed or under the influence of old-fashioned and backwards ideas.

But, we are not just sitting around watching the world go by. We are teaching our children, as best we can against the tirade of media messages that oppose us, Truth. And, we are finding each other. Secret groups are popping up all over the internet for women to share their experiences, have conversations about these issues and figure out how to bring them to light without abandoning our families.

Women who believe that one marriage to one man is enough. Women who believe that children are a blessing, not a curse. Women who believe caring for their home and family is the most important job they will ever do in their lives. Women who believe their husbands are good men who provide for their families and that's exactly what they want their husbands to do. These women are from all over the globe reaching out to one another, encouraging and uplifting one another.

They are not alone.

But, they are also not loud.

Venker is screaming on their behalf.

If you feel like feminism has chipped away at all that makes women feminine, and that the conservative woman (conserving means to keep the same, not a reference to a political party) has been silenced for too long, then you might love what Venker is doing here. I appreciate what I think she is trying to do.

In Chapter 5, she tackles the concept of the working woman, two-income households, and the ultimate decline of overall care for the raising of children.

In the 1960's, feminists proposed a narrative that women were being forced into what they equated as slave labor by men who got them pregnant, trapped them in tenements, and spent all the family money on booze and binges. Someone needed to step in on her behalf because she was certainly unable to defend herself, and feminists said that someone needed to be the government.

First and foremost, the only way for her to really get out of her predicament was to eliminate the children that she had to care for. The simplest way? Kill them before they are born.

They didn't use the word kill, of course, because they weren't stupid. They knew a campaign of "Kids wearing you down? Hit man for hire. Cheap!" would not have gone over very well. But, it's essentially the plan they had in mind.

By the 1980's (my growing up years), the message was Girl Power! - Girls can do everything boys can do and girls can do it better. Men are unnecessary, so leave them behind; children are a trap, kill them before they kill you. By then, it was pretty clear that a human fetus is an actual baby  - not a fish/lizard evolving in the womb (remember those old health class videos?). So, the messages were more along the lines of 'It's human, but it's really a parasite because it can't survive without a host.' Parasites are bad, right?

Today, the message is 'you poor, poor woman' You could have had it all, if only you hadn't gotten knocked up (more birth control needed), or if you hadn't had to keep the baby (more accessible abortions needed). But, don't worry, you can still have it all. Just, don't marry the baby's father, and sign up for these government programs: free food, free health care, free job training, free day care and free schools. You still don't need a husband, the government will be your provider.

Women who do get married are still portrayed as victims, with popular sitcoms making fun of wives who must always 'fix' the mistakes of their buffoon husbands.

And, there I go, rewriting her book. Which is probably a good lead in for my conclusion. In our book club discussion, this question was posed: If conservative women feel silented in the public media, and if these women want to have a voice in the public square, is Venker the voice they want to represent them?

Yes. - I want the passion and commitment she brings to the table.
No. - She does not cover all the issues that I think matter.
Yes. - She does speak to my own experience.
No. She makes some strokes that I think are too broad, and her research is not deep enough.
Yes. - There are not enough voices. Many of us are unwilling to sacrifice our family time to pursue such a project.
No. - One voice will never speak to all the issues.
Yes. - Someone must be the voice, why not Venker?

If you want to read it for yourself, and I think you should, you can find it here. The Flipside of Feminism by Suzanne Venker