Losing Teeth and Personality Analysis

I was talking with our dentist this morning, and we got on the subject of losing baby teeth. It's interesting how this experience can give us some insight into each child's personality.

It's been many years since my two oldest first lost teeth, and I remember it being fairly uneventful. So uneventful in fact that both girls accidentally swallowed more than one tooth without realizing it. This is how these girls are. They are laid back and mellow; content to let life go by without a lot of fanfare. Of course, they are now teenagers and they are girls, so life has a certain amount of drama and trauma; but generally, they are laid back and life's little nuisances, like a tooth coming out, frequently go unnoticed.

Now, child number 3 is vastly different. His first loose tooth went untouched, literally hanging out of his mouth and across his lip by a tiny thread of flesh. It bounced up and down when he talked, hanging there and distracting his parents from any kind of conversation.

"Just wiggle it a little with your tongue," we would prod. "It will come right out."

He refused to touch it and we struggled to restrain ourselves from reaching in and pulling it out for him. Today, he is still a sort of neat freak and he is traumatized by change. The tooth coming out was a sign of change. One he would endure, but he would not encourage. He still abhors change, and he endures it, but never encourages it.

Our five year old just lost his first tooth. It took about one day. He announced that his tooth was "wiggly". We checked and conceded that yes, indeed it was wiggly. He pushed a bit more with his tongue and then cried, "GET IT OUT!"

We tried to wiggle it a little for him, but really it wasn't quite ready. As he insisted, I jokingly said, "Do you want me to just yank it out? That would hurt."

"GET IT OUT!" he persisted. His father came home that afternoon and assisted him in the removal of the wiggly tooth. He is much happier with his frontal gap than he was with the wiggler. This child is fine with change and adapts quickly, but does not tolerate any kind of unpleasantness. He has little patience and will accept anything that is reasonably proposed, even eating green vegetables and letting his dad yank out a tooth, so long as we can do it fast.

I wish now that I had paid more attention to the children's reaction to their first loose tooth because it is such a telling event. What does your child's response to these little adversaries tell you about his personality?

You have all the skills you need to teach your child

So, I was enjoying my coffee and reading an online conversation when this question was asked of a young mom I know who is raising her first baby, still a toddler, and considering homeschooling.

"Do you really think that you can provide for all of your child's educational needs?"

There was an internal instinct to jump right in to this conversation and defend her and my own ability to homeschool our children. I didn't though, because I knew my words would be emotionally loaded. But, the more I have thought about this question, the more I feel it deserves an answer. Not for the person asking, he already has his opinion, but answered for this young mom, and for all homeschooling moms.

The answer is YES! I can provide for all of my child's educational needs. And, you can provide for yours. I promise you can.

My initial response is that I can because I'm the only one who really knows them, and then I looked around at the children in my house and my mind reeled as I thought of all their different personality quirks and the vastly different passions in life. There is no one else in their life who could know them as well as I do.

A school teacher meets my child and knows them for nine months. The first nine months of my relationship with my child was spent with him in my womb. Our relationship is far more intimate than theirs can ever be. After nine months, their relationship ends; ours has only just begun.

As my child grows, I see what makes his eyes shine, what makes him smile and what makes him sad. By the time he is of the age where he would go to school, I already know the nuances of every facial expression; like when he really likes something and when he is just being polite. I already know the things that make him laugh and cry, what he will spend hours devoted to and what bores him silly.

I don't need a college class to tell me how to recognize a child's learning style, I've been watching it develop for years.

God gave me the privilege and responsibility of training them. God has given me all of the skills that I need to teach my child. He has also given me a keen ability to see my own shortfalls and weaknesses. That's why I buy curriculum, hire tutors and pay for classes in the areas that I need help.

Homeschooling moms are inherently insecure. We know every moment that our children's future is dependent on our ability to recognize and meet their needs. We aren't just parents who can blame the schools and we aren't just teachers who can send kids home at the end of the day and blame the parents.

We are it! We are the only ones to blame. And, we do hold ourselves accountable. Every time our child misspells a word, or struggles with fractions and percentages, we wonder what we did wrong. We ask ourselves if we are capable, if we are competent. Every time our child speeds past our own knowledge in an area and dives into a subject we know nothing about. We wonder how we'll find the right resources and if we'll ever keep up.

It is reasonable and beneficial to use experts. In just the past few months, we have sought out horse trainers, dairy farmers, art teachers, librarians, vocal instructors, theater majors, tree farmers, sharpshooters and wood carvers to help us meet the educational needs of our children. I would not expect one eighth grade teacher to be an expert in all of these areas, and I don't expect that I will ever be either.

If all does not go perfectly, we blame ourselves. We second guess ourselves and we wonder if we can or should do this. We don't need others to ask the question that we are already struggling to answer every day. The honest answer is No, I can not provide for all of my children's educational needs alone, but YES! I can with the help of God and all the smart, talented people we know. You can too.