Part time Tiger Mother

It's so easy to make me feel guilty. Have you read Battle Hymn of a Tiger Mother ?
What did you think?

It made me feel lazy.

And... guilty.

When I read To Train Up a Child and The Well Trained Mind, those made me feel lazy and guilty too. Why haven't I trained my children to be perfectly obedient at all times? Because I'm lazy. Why don't my children know Latin? Because I'm lazy.

I look at my children, blessings from God, every one of them. I see their potential. I know that God has given me the privilege and responsibility of raising them and training them up to be Godly young men and women. But, I think I'm raising lazy adults.

I have a thirteen year old daughter, who can do this

But, she hates to practice. 

Well, actually, it's more a case of her hating to be criticized, which is what happens when you are practicing and trying to get better. Thanks to Gramma's help, she will have a chance to work with a professional this year. But, should I have done more? I've known for years that she could do this...

What if we had found a good vocal instructor sooner? Where would she be today? Did she miss out on something?

All of my kids are drama nuts. They write, create and perform plays all day long. They easily change character and memorize lines. They were meant to be on the stage. The other day, I took all the kids to audition for The Best Christmas Pageant Ever. When we got there, I couldn't find a place to park. There were hundreds of people in the small town where the auditions were being held. I drove around for about 15 minutes trying to find a parking spot. I thought about doing this again the next day for another round of auditions. I thought about the 20 minute drive to get there, the five day a week rehearsals that we would have to attend, the $45 per kid that was required for participation...

and then, I gave up. I drove home.

I explained my reasoning to the kids, who were disappointed, but very forgiving. But, I felt guilty. What if I had just taken away their BIG chance, or if I had just deprived them of some great friendship or learning experience? But, I just knew I couldn't deal with the stress of it all. Am I just lazy?

My boys were trying to sell $2500 worth of BSA popcorn this year. When they had each made it halfway, they decided to combine their sales, so that one of them would get to reach the goal. Very generous, I said. But, not ethical. They thought they would try anyway, but their leader agreed with me, but gave them one more week to try and reach the goal. A blessing, I said, let's go! But, no, they were so disappointed that they didn't want to try anymore. Here is where my Tiger Mother instincts kick in and I push them. But, then I feel guilty for not just being proud that they sold $1250 each. They are only 8 and 10 years old after all. But, if I push them and they reach the goal, then they will know that wonderful satisfaction of achievement and later in life they will want to strive higher, right? 

I used to push like a Tiger Mother, when I only had two children. Then, my oldest helped me to understand that she was not a mini-me, with giant ambitions just waiting for the right motivations. She has her own hopes and dreams, and they don't look like mine. 

I realized, thankfully, when she was young, that each of my children is gifted in just the way God intended them to be. Whatever He has planned for them, He has gifted them perfectly for that plan.

So, then, today and on many days like it, I need to give myself the same break. God has given me just the right gifts to be the parent of these children. And, even when it seems I've denied them something (like being in a really cool play or having professional instructors), I've given them something better - ME...

just the way God intended.

Writing for money

I've said before that if you are going to write, then you should do it for free, like for a good cause or on your own blog, OR you should get paid what you're worth. I've argued that you hurt yourself and other writers by taking jobs that pay very little, including some per word offers that end up being less than minimum wage.

On that note, I will mention that my for FREE (as in on my own blog) writing has been vastly lacking lately as I have pursued some $$$ jobs. Having just finished one such assignment that seemed to swallow me whole for two weeks, I venture back into the world in a daze. But, just long enough to take a breath and jump right back into my workload.

I hope to work on some travel articles with the kids later this year. We are working on a script for a "Christmas DVD" that we will be making for grandparents this December. More FREE writing on my part, plus lots of reading to climb the learning curve involved in filming, editing and burning a DVD.

My advice to my fellow writers, once again is to write for FREE for causes you love or write for a fee that values your time and talent.

I have learned a lot from www.odesk.com a networking site for freelancers looking for work and for the companies that like to hire them.

For a fun and interesting challenge, I suggest trying out http://www.nanowrimo.org/ this November. If you have been working hard on nonfiction writing, like I have for the past few years, you'll appreciate a chance to whip out a crazy, spastic, energetic, even sleazy and cheesy novel, just for the love of it.