Things We're Afraid To Talk About

I have recently, like in the last few years, had several meaningful conversations that have stuck with me and informed me about my local culture. What they have in common is the quick and succinct, "Shut up about that!"

I shared this photo on my Facebook page today:


It expresses exactly how I feel about this issue. Except, if you could hear me, I would be yelling it.

There seems to be a sort of cultural understanding that we will not discuss anything that actually affects our salvation, unless we can agree wholeheartedly on it. So, it's okay to say, "Jesus loves you" to a fellow Christian (although not to their unbelieving friends) and you can't say "Jesus hates sin" to anyone because Sin is one of those forbidden topics - primarily because the definition of sin is something we struggle to agree on. Using God's Word as a guide for this definition is not even to be suggested because we might not interpret it the same way...

The root of all this is that we seem to have come to a time, over generations, that keeping a friendship alive is more important than seeing that "friend" in Heaven.

I have tried to dialogue about this with my peers, and some nod in agreement, others shake their heads in frustration, but no one seems to have a solution as to how to solve it. Well, except to teach the next generation Logic and Rhetoric, so they can actually have arguments that lead to Truth. And, there are some (Hillsdale College, Veritas Press, and others) who are trying to do just that.

So, the problem I have with all of this is a deep, dark looming sadness over what I know to be True. When I am told that we will not discuss matters of salvation - I'm talking about what is sin? how are we saved? - or debate theology in any way because it might put our friendships at risk, I can only see this one of two ways:

1. You don't really believe that God's Word is true and sustaining and clearly shows the way to salvation and that without it I am doomed to Hell - so you don't feel a need to warn me that I am on my way to Eternal Damnation.

OR

2. You really do believe that God's Word is true and sustaining and clearly shows the way to salvation and that without it I am doomed to Hell, but you hate me and don't feel a need to warn me that I am on my way to Eternal Damnation.

Both of these scenarios make me sad, and I really wish we could talk about it.

Expert Parenting Advice From Me To You

When I read parenting blogs or advice columns, I often wonder about the qualifications of said advice giver.

Does she have one perfectly docile and complacent child? My first was kind of like that.

Does she have a toddler who eats everything, climbs everything, unlocks everything, and is somehow both stronger and faster than her? I've had a couple of those. Did she survive those years? I have to know.

Every summer at camp, the kids get a group shot of the whole crowd of them. 

I had two kids at camp the same week this summer. Both of them are in this cut out of the group. One is the smiling boy in the blue Thrivent shirt. The other is the grouchy (part of me wants to say creepy looking) kid in the red hat hiding his face in the upper right corner. See him now? 

This is a great example of their personality differences. One is bubbly and smiling and full of drama who loves to follow the crowd. The other is a quiet, deep thinker who prefers to walk against the tide just to see how far he can.

One of them leaves a mess and wanders off. The other likes to keep his things neat. One likes loud music, the other likes to make his own. 

They share a room. The peace treaty is often violated between these two.

I've been doing this parenting thing for more than 20 years. I'm a mother in law and a nursing mom at the same time. I've researched scholarships while in labor. I've run the spectrum of parenting experiences and here's what I know: very little.

The longer I do this parenting gig, the more I realize how much I don't know. So, moms, take it from an expert, I believe you are doing the best you can in your experience, your circumstances and with what you know. So, keep reading those blogs and articles, but remember this: anyone who claims to have all the answers to your parenting questions hasn't really been in the parenting trenches yet.

SuperMom completes craft, saves world

To my crafty friends, how do you get anything else done?

This took half the day, first, read instructions, think about supply list, try to remember what I have/need to get and where these things are. (I did all of that the night before)

 Then, gather supplies, teach kid how to trace, how to cut, get impatient three hours later and finish cutting them for her.

Assemble flowers, wait 20 minutes for her to find her hairbrush, put up hair, realize you did a twist backwards, argue with kid about starting over, give in and leave it.

Finish braiding, attach flowers to hair pins, and place in hair. Get pictures quick because you know this is not going to last.

Pour a refreshing drink as she bounces off with her "I'm a princess hair and attitude" Sit down to enjoy said drink. Spit out first sip when you hear screams from the child's bedroom.

A flower fell out. Of course.

Try about three dozen times over the next hour to make them stay in, explaining to your daughter that it is impoosible to have beautiful hair AND do gymnastics on your bed.

Regret these words when child says, "Fine. I'll just throw the flowers away then."

Talk child out of throwing away a whole day of hard work, and save them in the box of other random pretty things her heart can't let go of.

Send her off to play, apocalypse averted for another day. Collapse from exhaustion and silently swear to throw away every kids magazine with a craft project in it.

But, hey, at least I get to keep this cool picture.